x magical, mystical, nostalgic. {mynx}

ice cream

2012-01-29T00:26:00.001+08:00

Super sick now :(

And im unwilling to go to the doctor unless I have a fever because I just went there last week and I would have spent $60+ these two weeks on medical fees alone!

...but im not sure how long I can take it, having tests on every subject im taking next week...this is such a bad timing..

I feel so useless and weak.

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time flies

2012-01-24T21:44:00.010+08:00

things that happened in the past few weeks:

watched sherlock holmes 1 & 2 on the same day! (1 on laptop and 2 in the cinemas-kinda on impulse) i love sherlock holmes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bought $1 mood rings (amazinggggggg) at this expo flee and coincidentally i found a coupon in the news to redeem a free popcorn which we ate while watching sherlock holmes that day and also very coincidentally i'm wearing this tribal dress thing now i got at the flee hehehe.
open house! sang some songs and also went for this impromptu bungee jumping thing (more like jumping from a 1/2-storey high platform actually kkkkk :X) before i left to meet deon. and i felt bad that i held this guy's hand cus i was really scared cus it was really high(to me) but i told deon already ;_ ;.............. i also found that i like tending booths kkkkkkk.
went for this all-you-can-eat steamboat buffet thing @ changi village, pretty worth it for $25 for 2(usual price 30+ which is also quite cheap), there were crabs too *-* (which deon plucked for me kkkkk) bought it at some deal site. :D this man on a wheelchair went to randomly talk to us about the places at changi village closing down cus it's undergoing a renovation soon lol. i feel bad but i thought he was gonna ask us to buy tissues or something. and this woman who was sitting close to us like gave him some look of disgust when he looked at her when we were gonna leave..feel kinda sad for him.
oh, i would have enjoyed the food muchhh better if i wasn't sick. :(
fell sick a few days later, didn't go to school and deon accompanied me to the doctor. i was starting to say i was feeling better already when i had veryyyy bad menstrual cramps :( i felt like i was dying!! all i wanted to do was curl up and sleep on my bed. ;_ ; so he bought and fed me porridge and we took a cab to my condo and he went back home by himself. :(
had family steamboat too!
thennn cny! and my last antibiotic pill is to be eaten tmr and i'm done with medicine!

shall sleep now though my aunt & cousins are coming, school tmr. :(

(and i have a chem test lololol)

i

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t

a

strangers who are somehow related

2012-01-22T21:40:00.001+08:00

Hello~

Happy chinese new year eve!

Did you enjoy your reunion dinner? (i sure did...well, kinda)

Also...

Happy 9th monthsary*-*<3456789

Yesterday I was pretty mad with deon because he always loooves to sleep and sometimes chooses sleep over studies and me.

So I didnt even feel like going out and meeting him anymore but he was already on the way here and he was so patient with me(it's his fault anyway...ok fine it's also my fault for not wanting to go shop with him ;- ;) even though I was pretty mean to him. :')

And when I saw him I couldnt help but soften up even though I told myself 'no i must stay angry with him so he learns his lesson!!!'

So in the end everything is fine again....until the next time one of us(most of the time him...and it's not because I dont mess up, it's because he rarely finds fault with me...while i'm very picky :X but im reasonable!!! So i'm reasonably picky) messes up sometime in the future.

And that's fine because relationships are meant to be like that.

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the civil wars

2012-01-21T13:32:00.003+08:00

"i don't love you but i always will." 3:07 onwards shows just that...
..................................

a very honest song from them... the more you get to know someone else, the more vulnerable you get and the higher the possibilities that your relationship with your partner becomes weaker.

The Civil Wars is the only band that has ever reached me so deep *-*
the only duo that i prefer listening to live.
the only ones i've heard that have such chemistry between their voices.

english

2012-01-17T21:59:00.001+08:00

Just helped my sis who was helping my p5 brother with his english homework...and I had to google for the difference between past tense and past participle, lol.

I dont think anyone learns much from english lessons in primary school at all...and all we were taught in secondary school was the way to answer questions correctly.

I dont think english is something that can be taught easily on paper. You need to listen, speak and live it to get it, because it can be so confusing at times. Like why is the past tense of burst burst? And why is hour pronounced without the h sound? And why cant we use 'but' or 'and' after a full stop but we see it so many times in books?

*abrupt end*

...ok back to econs, law of comparative advantage lolwut.

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I cant imagine that...

2012-01-14T00:36:00.001+08:00

One day we would drift apart, feelings fade and we wouldn't even mind.

But that doesnt mean I dont see it coming..

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should you believe in bad luck?

2012-01-13T16:30:00.001+08:00

Today, only me and this other girl came to school(out of all the girls), I have a pimplelicious face, my alarm suddenly rang in class, I answered a question super wrongly, my bag weighed like it had 2bowling bowls, I skipped lunch so I wouldnt feel lonely, I couldnt do a simple chem test which I studied many days for, I accidentally texted the wrong teacher, I forgot to bring my tutorial which I in turn went to furiously copy from someone during break time only to find out that the teacher decided not to go through it today, my saturday is taken up by choir yet again and someone cares more about parkour and other friends than me.

Happy friday the 13th!

(was gonna end here but...)

Life should be lived positively. :)

Today, I also found out that 200+ people made a donation of 5dollars each for cats on this deal site, my mum bought me new shoes, I hung out with a different classmate(friend was sick), I get to take a nap now because it's friday and that someone tried to make it up to me. :D

Good night/afternoon!

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safe & sound

2012-01-08T23:32:00.001+08:00

first day of jc2 tmr.
jsdi;fjaskelfjdaoefijwaje;osifiowje;ofj :(......

new year resolutions.

2012-01-07T17:45:00.007+08:00

so i took like 15mins to find last year's post of my new yr's resolutions and had to click on many january posts till i found it T_T to make it easier for the me next year i've decided on this title lol.

today's such a wasted day.

family went out to orchard to shop (i was still sleeping) and i was planning to study today but it's almost 6pm and i haven't done anything yet.........;_ ;

...i could have gone out with him today. :(

looking back at the year 2011, (sounds like the start of a typical 2011 review essay) it could have been a really mundane year..at the same time, it also could have been a really different year.

and 2011 for me was really mundane, as much as it was really different. (???????)

Jan - was feeling super stressed because jc's starting and it was time for me to go back to reality again.

Feb - orientation in sch, getting used to new people i'm gonna be with for the next 2 years.

also posted this pic on valentine's day and mentioned that i still can post it this year.
obviously i didn't know what was to come...:')

March - *found nothing interesting* oh my goddddddddd my life is so boring it's funny!!!
oh yeah, i think i couldn't get into the syf choir team and i felt really depressed and stuff. :(
but my singing has definitely improved though i can't say it's enough to get me into the syf team though there's no syf next year lol.

April - got a boyfriend.

my reaction too.

and i don't know what good deeds i've done in my past life to deserve him. *-*

May - watched kung fu panda 2 with the whole school.

first monthsary, made this cardboard thing ;_ ; and he didn't do anythinggggggggggg :(
he's just such a last minute kind of person, but during this "sw33tiepi3h0n3ym00n" period (it generally lasts from 3-6 months.. mine ended in 3-4 months.) i didn't seem to mind much.

in case you're curious, i read that there are generally 5 stages to every couple's relationship.

stage 1 - honeymoon (you'll feel intoxicated with love like you're in a fairy tale *-* wishes to go back to those times again!)

stage 2 - disillusionment (getting to know what you love about him, as well as what about him that annoys you)

stage 3 - power struggle (more fights)

stage 4 - stability (deeper feelings of love)

stage 5 - commitment (estimated that fewer than 5% of couples make it to this stage. it's about making a choice to be with him even though you know his flaws and stuff)

i think we're either in stage 2 or 3...but that's not to say that we quarrel all the time :D

June - heejang flew from canada and stopped by singapore on his way home to korea to visit me & deon! :D

also our first times visiting universal studios singapore. and i also met aaron.

July - started exploring parks with deon.

also went to zhuhai for this choir competition which we won for our category! :)

it's my first time going overseas without my parents! (and hopefully not my last)

Aug - "A person seen as a possession can never be seen for the full beauty of their character and spirit."

(lack of stuff to talk about so i'm just filling this month with a random quote that i posted in that month lololol)

Sep -

deon's birthday.

we booked a 3d2n chalet using money we got from selling sp stuff (so basically it's like we got it for free) andddd we had one of the best times of our lives. :)

(if only i didn't have to do my homework at the chalet too lolol)

Oct - had class bbq, felt freaking stressed and depressed about results!

Nov - definitely felt more free, though there's still pw.

Dec - basically spent lots of time with deon, and it's not on homework. :DDDDDDD
i'll definitely miss those times...

so as you can see, my life last year definitely was boring, yet...if i count the outings i had with friends, family and deon, it's not that boring afterall. in fact it made everything else worth going through.

anyway, time to review my new year resolutions i made last last yr (2010).

audi - er..... hope glk still exists :D? - failed, it exists yet it doesn't lol. (not that i have the time to touch audi at all though i did force deon to play hehe...unfortunately he only plays 'manly' games and is still a lvl 1 stiffy. or 2. lol.)
ksp - sun3!! and 50k coins. or 80k. *can't make up mind* - failed also. :(
self - ~~eh........ah............um......... get rid of my 'phobia of the world' and maybe be less mean.. (but that is part of me!! T_T).~~ ~~i also need to give people presents~~ and not just receive. ;_ ; and not be so lazy. (as you can see from this short resolution thing) - the phobia of the world isn't so bad now, so it's achieved! :D and i've been giving presents sometimes but not all the time, so this is only halfway done. :( and the lazy part...nope, i'm probably still as lazy.
studies - ~~yes i am still going to put a lot of effort into everything!!! :D i hope i don't give up.~~ jungmin will be my motivation. yes. ok. - halfway done. i almost wanted to give up but didn't, so that's completed. though jungmin isn't really my motivation now since SS501 is disbanded. :(.... i also can't keep up with news of him because of my studies...

yeah, i haven't done most of whatever random stuff i hoped to achieve in 2011. :(........
in hindsight i could say that i really didn't expect jc curriculum to be so taxing.
it's like you have no time for life!!111

anyway.......
my 2012 new year resolutions:

studies -

studies must come first! it's already the last year, i should just go and push on all the way.

don't be too shy to ask questions or go for consultations.

i'm aiming for at least a B for every subject!

don't give up.

love -

don't give up on love in my pursuit for studies, no matter how hard it is...or how distant we'd be this year.
take even just a few minutes to text him just before i sleep.
go overseas with him.

self -

learn ways to keep myself from falling asleep
not be too hard on myself for being unsociable
gather the courage to tell my mum about him
don't be lazy

ending off with a picture of this baby i fell in love with (and usually i don't like babies) about 2 years ago!:
saw it at precious memories/thoughts and it cost $50. wonders if it's still being sold now... :(

busy being free

2012-01-03T21:49:00.009+08:00

sooo lately i've been too busy finishing up the last of my homework so that i can go all out in being free for what's left of the holidays :'(......

on 31st dec:

deon & i went for new year countdown! (for the first time in my life, i actually did something for new year instead of treating it like it's nothing)
and we decided to do it while having a picnic @ labrador park!
*not sure if we were the only ones who travelled all the way to the other end of sg for this park*

the tiny orange dot in the middle...ufo?!?!
now this looks more like a ufo, except it's the lamp.
but it was worth it because you could see the fireworks from here! *-*
we even bought this 38-in-1 board game thing so we wouldn't get bored kkkkkkkk...but we only managed to play a few games. i find the colourful stick game much funner for some reason. :X

and we decided to eat at a table instead cus there were lost of insects on the ground and i forgot to bring my insect repellent! ;_ ;

i know the point of going to a park is to 'become one with nature' but....i'm not ready to get too close yet! lol
told him to act like he's pondering on his existence/life

putting our picnic mat on the table cus it's dirty. lololololol
i......................................want/need to thread/pluck my eyebrows. :(
and i was initially wearing this knitted top but it was so hot /was gonna die of heat stroke so i took it off. i wore it back on after we left the park though lol.

anyway it was a greatgreatgreattttt day though i was super sleepy and tired by the time i got home (2am+) ;_ ;

1jan:
had laksa for lunch on first day on 2012! :D
and steamboat at night at some kopitiam. :D

looks gross but is super delicious...and it costs $12. lol
(tofu with egg)

2jan:
super last minute heart i made for my mum's birthday. :X

3jan(today):

.........had triton camp today.
still traumatised about the flag capture/crystal capture game. lol
violent girls are........scary (got pushed to the door by this girl..and also grabbed by this girl while she asked other guys to take my life-life as in newspaper strip ;_ ;)
...but we still won!
my legs and hands were like jelly after that lol, scary but fun game.
especially when 30 other people start raiding your base.

anyway, that was our lunch. lol
had chicken rice for dinner. (i took the 2nd last packet lol)

having class chalet till thursday, but i'm only going till tmr.
has choir on thurs & fri!
and gonna 'infiltrate' nyp orientation on thurs. :D

not ready to think about my new year resolutions yet...maybe my first one should be
1) think about new year resolutions.
i'm still deluding myself...it's 2011, it's still 2011!
2) wake myself from this delusion

ending off with a bunch of random pics from deon's phone:

retrace

2012-01-01T23:17:00.001+08:00

Happy new year!

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wistful

2011-12-31T00:53:00.003+08:00

background looks like a screen with a picture of a malnourished tree....but it's actually a piece of the real sky... yes we have come to this point where nature starts to look unnatural and skyscrapers are the new natural.
moon-shaped things!!! so cuteeeee like bananas. or maggots... floating, glowing maggots..,.,.,.
and see that white smudge there?!?!?! i just noticed it after transferring the pics to my comp...and after all the alien stories deon told me i'm too scared to assume what it is...
i've never ever ever been afraid of aliens (ok fine maybe when i watched that alien movie when i was young...) because to me the possibility of them exising was 0%. unlike dinosaurs and spirits, it's just too unreal to be true. but........; _ ; i don't even know now.
how do you keep sane in this realistic yet mysterious world!?!?!??
what it's actually supposed to be. lol

our dinner today/night. i was superrr full lol. we(he) even ordered an extra packet of chips and clam chowder.
(late) merry christmas present(s) from deon & his mum/family. *w * thank you...
oh, dont know why it's in malay either (referring to 'gula kapas')

awww...this is super cute.
i was like rummaging the house looking for stuff to play with to pass time tmr (new yr countdown), then i found lots of old stuff... like my stamp album, card album (all kinds of cards..even has a credit card i found lololol, but i didn't have any intention to use it and i'm sure the person cancelled it anyway), sticker album, photo album, library card, old coins and more random stuff. :')

this bear was given to me by my father when i was superrrr young(it's probably been like 10+ years), i rmb i would undress is and comb it and pretend to bathe it hehehe.
and it still looks new because i kept it in this bag that came with it.
now it's joining me & my other toys in the night parade! (lol /anime freak. is referring to 'nurarihyon no mago'. wishes to watch the 2nd season but too busy studying ;_ ;)
anyway what i meant was that they're gonna sleep with me. lol

*starting to have no space for my soft toys* D':
i wonder if there'll come a time when i have to throw them away and just 'grow up'.
i hope that time never comes...but maybe when it finally comes, it wouldn't matter because i'd have 'grown up' and not cared about those toys so much.
even though i've grown up with them...i miss cutting out paper food for them to eat on christmas! (lol)

it's been a looooooong time since i've used my computer! (has been using my mum's laptop ever since...group pw started, lol)
i miss the super good sound system ;_ ; and the wide screen. and the fact that i wont get a backache so easily from using the comp as compared to laptop.

omg it's 1:11!
not wishing for everything because everything is perfect. *starts to regret....but it's 1:12 already, so nvm!*

listening to You & Beautiful World now...it's so..beautiful :')
yuyoyuppe is loveeeeeee

and someone else's singing too. :)

virtual makeover

2011-12-27T02:16:00.003+08:00

original picture. remember it till you get to the end of this post!

lololololol, went to play around in this makeover site for about an hour ;_ ; *it's okay, i worked hard today D:*

and...............

not sure if i look better or worse..............:

one(only) thing i like is the eye colour and *eyeliner*!

also...............
hehe gender switch.

one day he'll start becoming my barbie doll and i'll try makeup on him, lol.

i must admit; all those words you spoke i hated.

2011-12-26T02:13:00.001+08:00

.............................................
Yeah, I'm not angry
And no, I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile
But this is what I've learned
Emotional attachment is really not a threat
When I'm simply not concerned

The things that I take on
I soon shrug off
'cause I know no one
Will ever be content
With the way things are
Or with what they've got
So I've given up and now I'm just indifferent

You all laugh at me
Like I'm not happy
With anything, any time, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything
Is a far cry from all right
I'm well aware that all of us
Can at times, be too uptight
And possibly, the remedy
Is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you
I'll point mine right back at me

unmerry christmas

2011-12-25T23:45:00.004+08:00

_____ christmas!

this is probably the first time in my life (except for when i was a baby maybe) when i don't feel the christmas spirit at all.

christmas was spent like any other normal day. maybe worse.

i knowwwww, i'm being such a pessimistic emo person now.

the only thing i'm glad about is that christmas is gonna be over in 2mins so i won't feel bad about not feeling christmas-y.

heavenly days

2011-12-23T00:12:00.012+08:00

compensating my corniness(see post below this) with pics!

stickys he bought for me passing my first test lololol.
found this in my mum's stash of nail polish earlier in the day! trololololol eleanor.
also tried out this camera app on my phone that's why the effects look so different.
mushroom soup @ aston's!
our drawings of each other............................ yes i've met my match.
@ bugis.
super cute!! some fruit mochi dessert when our family went to dad's friend's restaurant.
salmon spaghetti @ aston's! (not mine)
some chicken & pig soup. the chicken is cooked inside the pig. or is it the other way round.......lol.
random tilted pic.
veggie juice.
random dress i got online :D the brown part reminds me of those bed covers at hotels lol.
cranberry & peppermint mocha!
......and we got it for free! :D kkkkk cheapskates. (well he donated 2 bucks)

singaporeans queueing for free stuff.
shark fin's souppppppp, nicest i ever drank..maybe it's cus it's in some stone thing. i don't mind drinking fake ones to save sharks though lol.
first time eating banana split! we chose matcha and chocolate and this weird vanilla-cherryish flavour lol. i love the ice cream, it was pretty chewy :D his treat!
a whole half chicken. ok that didn't make sense.
super pretty gummy candy he bought! i haven't eaten mine yet. *-*
our.....$6.......yoghurt........*feels cheated*.
they charge you buy how much it weighs and the machine that discharges(sounds inappropriate) the yoghurt didn't show how much it weighed so.........;_ ;
cute tiny little cupcakes he got..so sad they got crushed on his way here. :(
ice kacang! (shaved ice with syrup)
tomato soup. prettyyy sour.
@ 18 chefs :D feels like eating baked rice now lol.
their cheese fries. superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr delicious! even better than kfc's. and 18 chefs' fries are thicker so the cheese and the fries are more evenly balanced *talks like i know what i'm talking about*

@ the ship! i lovelovelove the chicken!! and the sauce. feels hungry looking at all these food pics!
another angle of the ice kacang.
3 different types of prata @ nyp! they have this unique 'bomb' sugary prata(is it the sugary one kkkkkkk i forgot) that's delicioussss. *-*
@ aston's.
my grilled dory with baked potato and fries @ aston's!
pretty cheap for something that costs around 8 bucks. (though i was disappointed when i got a burnt fish yesterday)
carrot soup @ 18 chefs.
my mum cooked dinner already so i just accompanied deon while he had dinner but he surprised me by secretly ordering soup for me lol. :')
corn soup from mos burger...with bread crumbs! don't think i'll ever get over their corn soup.
has loved it since ongmin introduced me to it in sec1 i think. that's like 4 years ago!
supposed-to-be some ginseng mascot thing that deon and i made (mostly him) for my pw. but we didn't use it in the end... ;_ ;
minestrone(will never know how to pronounce it the right way.. mine-strone? mee-nee-stro-nee?) soup @ mos burger!
another corn soup /greedy.
some salmon+potato thing with tomato and mayo sauce @ swensen's!
best thing i everrrr ate at swensen's, lol.
i think this was on the last day of my mid yr exams. :'D
to be honest i don't think their food is that good for such prices...or maybe i just keep picking the wrong stuff.
we keep eating the same thing at aston's :P
had tang yuan (glutinous rice balls) for breakfast (lol weird, i know)! i took 3 and i kept getting the red bean ones arghhhdjklsjflkdjfs, i prefer the peanut ones :(
everyone's eating tang yuan today because it's winter solstice(like a new year?)! according to wiki those rice balls signify reunion, and last last night i dreamt that my older sister talked to me.
edward cullen's eyes...lol.

we're such cat stalkers...
this cat belongs to this malay family at this neighbouring hdb flat.
i'm surprised they allow it to roam freely out the house!
so glad nothing has happened to it yet. :'D
it's so so trustful of humans, probably because it's been a house cat since it was born.

oh yeah, a few days ago we saw 2 stray neighbourhood cats that we always see and as usual we went up to them and stared at them.
to our surprise the fierce-looking one started cuddling up to us and rubbing its head against our legs! sooooooo cute!!!
i wanted to bring it home so badly...:( (remembered that time when i was young and brought home a stray cat which scratched me ;_ ; and my mum chased it away....)

there's also this dirty injured cat that looks like it's been through a lot... we tried feeding it but it kept wanting to lick our shoes or something lol.
hopefully we will understand each other after he recognizes us! (what am i saying kkkkkk)

ok good night.

e-letter

2011-12-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

warning: do not scroll down if you're allergic to corn. i swear you'll live to regret this!111 (if you scroll)

Thank you deon(yes, yes, him again)!

For all the love you've filled me with...for your special and constant care and concern ever since we met... This could be a bad thing but i'll never ever ever forget you or your love or your cuteness or your voice or your smell or your-.. You'll really always remain in my memory 'just like a tattoo' (so corny!)

Every now and then i'll tear up randomly when i'm with you because i'm so touched by your tenderness and niceness(?) towards me. Even when im alone, just the thought of losing you makes my eyes water and then I force myself not to think about it...it's similar to what happens when I think of death, except without the watery part. I know that both(leaving you and dying) would happen eventually..even if we're together till we're old we still have to part when one of us passes away, but it's just natural for one to push stuff like that away. What's the point of worrying so much anyway, we might as well make the best of what we have for the moment, because it's in this present that everything counts.

I've always been an easily-jealous person...jealous when someone gets this, jealous when someone is so gifted, jealous jealous jealous. So thank you for tolerating me when I get jealous over random girls..especially that time(not long ago) when I got super irrationally jealous over some youtube girl..she could sing, has talent in playing the guitar, good looks and a unique(?) personality and fashion sense, and you admired her. I still am jealous over her but it wasn't as bad as that time..i won't decide to ignore you for a whole day D: (though it's not a guarantee that it won't happen again in the future)

Our relationship is different from other couples..or maybe that's what I like to think.

Maybe all couples have a unique relationship.

You would never ever ever intentionally ignore me or reply me in less than 5 words (unless we're meeting in like a few secs..like I ask 'where are you' and you reply 'behind you'..that doesn't count!) like how people complain most guys do.. Instead you always send me superduper long messages that fill up the whole screen of my phone... *guilty* it's me that's too lazy to reply to them sometimes/most of the time!

Thank you for not complaining about my cheapskateness (most of the time) and i'm so happy to see that you're complying to my rule of feeding piggy at least 20cts each day! (sorry..i sound like such a nag lol! Poor future kid of mine if I ever plan to have one)

Sorry because I always try to avoid meeting your parents, it feels awkward :( (dont all parent-meetings feel the same way?) and I dont know when i'll ever pluck up the courage/good results to be able to tell my parents about you... That's another reason why im ashamed when I meet your parents, I feel so bad for you!

And when I get angry whenever you're late/skip school, it's mostly because I dont want you to miss out on lessons! Don't think i've told you this before but..it's also partly cus I dont like that I have to go to sch and you can just skip! :X

I really really feel so happy that you're scoring well for your tests now..:):) if only I could do the same! Let's work hard together.

I dont know why but I have a feeling that not many approve/will approve of our relationship..because we're young/studying/dunno?? And I feel that they're just waiting for us to break up or something (ok I think I think too much..see, im thinking again), but what i've learnt from reading cheesy r/s tumblrs is that you shouldn't listen to people outside of the relationship because they don't know everything you've felt or been through together.. Not sure if we've been through much yet, but..im definitely not letting something so precious slip by me.

I've always had no one to tell every single thing to...from the troubles in my heart to random things I saw to random philosophies i've thought of.. Without you, I probably would do a little better in my studies with an extra half day every week, but with you, because of you, that little half day every week and lots of text messages(and calls) in between really filled my soul...i don't want to waste my youth on just education, but I don't want to spend my youth simply by fooling around either. If we could just meet halfway..it's worth a try.

No one knows me like you do. Like how when I said I wanted ice lemon tea you knew I wanted green tea (happened last night) and how you knew that I was actually referring to iluma when I was talking about ion orchard (they both sound so similar right?!). I love how every simple day spent makes us both so happy..you would text me 'today was a great day' and I would go through it in my mind and smile (hopefully unpervertedly). :') I can't believe that even after 8months I still feel excited when I meet you, and whenever we're doing something together for the first time I get even more excited. *-*

Finally, I know what having a best friend is like now...

You make me try new things. Since I met you I started caring more about my hair and my face, learning new hairstyles and watching makeup tutorials and just a few hours ago I pushed through my laziness to paint my nails again! (which i'm gonna redo tomorrow because they got destroyed somehow)

Even though you can be unintentionally mean sometimes, you immediately stop once you realise it and I appreciate that you don't think i'm too soft which I think you might be secretly thinking deep inside kkkkkkk. (confusing)

Gosh I have so much more to say but I think I typed enough(random guy says: more than enough).

Thank you deon, for being willing to hold on even when I told you how much lesser time I have for you next year... :'( even if we don't make it(and I hope we will), i'll always remember you!

And lastly, thank you anonymous for either reading all the way down without feeling tempted to close the page in disgust or for scrolling down just to see the end...:)

*few days later* ...we broke up. :( jk.

Happy 8 months. ♥
(god I almost died from the corniness..this is so unlike me!)

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two sides

2011-12-22T00:29:00.001+08:00

Today we saw some moving lights in the sky(actually I didnt notice it at all) and this woman randomly asked us if we saw them too and she was wondering what it was and while the two of them were so interested in the lights I realised how unusually uncurious I was and I guess I just kind of gave up on fictional stuff D: its so sad T-T..... I want to go back to dreaming of fairy tales again~~ I guess some small part of me still believes in such things.. Or maybe im finally becoming happy with reality. :D

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even though my song has no form

2011-12-21T00:45:00.003+08:00

gosh..i just found this song like half an hour ago and i love it so much.
i've heard many other versions but still find this the best, even though it's not mixed as well as the others. wish i could make dasoku's vocals louder!! ;_ ;

maybe i'm just biased towards dasoku's songs.
i really like him and the songs he sing *-*

so i went to re-confirm his age because....how is it possible that someone old can capture the hearts of sooooo many young fangirls?!?!?!

歌い手 (Singer)	Date	Age
96猫 (Kuroneko)	March 30	18
天月 (Amatsuki)	June 30	20
雨色 (Ameiro)	Apr. 10	?
amu	July 30	?
あにま (Anima)	May 25	23
ASK	March 26	26
ベェェェェジュ (Beeeeige)	April 3	?
che: 櫻井 (che: sakurai)	April 6	?
ちょうちょ (Choucho)	June 21	?
clear	August 27	27?
くりむぞん (Crimson)	October 25	26
蛇足 (Dasoku)	March 2	34
gero	January 23	25
はにちゃむ (Hanycham)	March 5	26
海斗 (Kaito)	September 28	?
けったろ (Kettaro)	January 9	21
コゲ犬 (Kogeinu)	February 21	28
koman	June 16	19
maro	December 30	20
みーちゃん (Mi-chan)	March 9	24
実谷なな (Mitani Nana)	Mhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifay 2	?
むっち (Mucchi)	August 10	21
ぽこた (Pokota)	January 11	?
Re.	September 23	19
しゃむおん (Shamuon)	July 22	18
少年Ｔ (ShounenT)	December 26	19
そ～ま (So~ma)	November 21	?
そらる (Soraru)	November 3	22
タイツォン (Taitson)	April 27	22
that	January 13	24
うさ (Usa)	September 29	?
バルシェ (Valshe)	September 15	?
ヲタみん (Wotamin)	April 20	?
KANAN @ヤマイ (Yamai)	March 23	25

(credits: x)

ahh......h-h-h-he's really 34 ;_ ; (sidetrack: soraru is 22!! pretty young. and yamai is 25!!)

i guess i just have a thing for older guys.

(or it could be cus he has a cat, is half caucasian and half japanese and is left-handed)

they're usually (not all the time, as in my case*coughs*) more mature, and i love mature people... mature doesn't necessarily mean boring, you can be both mature and fun at the same time.

and even though i don't know dasoku at all, i have a feeling he's like that. :')
the woman who he marries in the future is a lucky one!!
(or unlucky...seeing that i read somewhere that he's looking for a wife to wash his laundry. lol)

and i might not have someone like that, but the nice part is being able to watch him grow and mature the more time we spend together :') (no i'm not talking about my non-existant son named ion...lol)

(back to the song)

the lyrics are pretty too...

The faint crimson-painted petals of time
Flutters within the light
I should have smiled

Here are the things that I forgot
All of which are the treasures you gave
These things that didn't have any form
Won't fade through time

The things I give you, are my everything
Even though these didn't have any form
At the corner of your heart
I want to become a shining star

how time flies...
i feel a sense of nostalgia even though i'm not recalling anything from the past.
bye~

therapy

2011-12-19T18:54:00.003+08:00

so i finally had money and i went to bugis street yst with deon to shop lolololol.
i rmb seeing guys standing outside shops and carrying the bags of shopping for their gfs last time when i went shopping with eleanor and i was thinking to myself: poor guys, i would never do that if i were them!

but here i am...........

but he didn't stand outside the shops! and he kept snatching the bags from me! and so it's not my fault!

it's also my first time bothering to look at guy clothings. it's so sad to be a guy, all you can wear are shirts and pants/jeans lol. and he didn't buy much because the guy stuff there are like normal price/slightly above normal..i wonder why.

compare it to the girl stuff and there's like a $10 difference or something.

anyway, it's been 123425 years since i went to bugis street and i forgot how to go but we got there in the end lol :X
and the 2nd and 3rd floor looks soo different from last time, it looks like far east so when i try to recall where i went yesterday i get confused lol.
and the stuff there are so cheap i can't believe i never went there the last time T_T i will only buy stuff from there in the future!

spent $60 on 4 pieces of clothing and a belt and something lol.
i'm so happy with my buys :D

though i'd be happier if i could buy shoes, i only have 2 pairs of shoes :(......
and it was pouring yesterday(like today) so my feet were wet so i couldn't try on shoes so i couldn't buy shoes yesterday ;_ ;

anyway, there were some tense moments here and there and i was so tired by the end of the day and my back hurt. ;_ ; happens all the time when i go shopping (the back hurting thing), i wish i had younger bones. :(

just saw on fb that it's sasha's birthday today, i remember her birthday's on 19dec but when i saw that it's 19dec i couldn't relate it to her birthday. *coughs* excuses :X though it's semi-true!

thank god for facebook. or thank facebook-creator-guy-forgot-his-name-was-it-zac!

ahhhhhhhhhhh i'm still so tiredddddddd from yst. can't wait to sleep later on........

risks&conflicts

2011-12-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

"Truth is that we revolve our world on the risks we don’t take which later define our lives. Think about it. Would you rather face looking back one day and wish you had taken that risk and forever wonder what would have happened if you had or would you rather look back satisfied that you took that risk and hey, it might not have worked out, but at least you took a chance. Take risks. You never know when something good is right around the corner."

you make me feel like fjdjdfaslkfhakfkjl..
half of the time it's a bad thing, but the other half makes it all worth it. stupid

hard truths

2011-12-17T16:32:00.004+08:00

If one doesn’t wish to give up smoking because it is considered their free choice, how about giving up smoking so others may have a choice?

was researching stuff for gp and found this...
simple but pretty true.

life

2011-12-16T02:25:00.003+08:00

can we stop the world from turning

2011-12-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

hello~

haven't been posting much for some reason???

last sunday i woke up with a strained/sprained neck ;_ ;
probably due to the flat pillow+wet hair+using the comp till so late which is actually not that late speaking of late i should sleep soon. :'(
can you imagine i went to sleep with a fine neck and when i woke up and got up i didn't feel anything until i turned my head to the right and i was like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
i couldn't turn my head to the right!!!! or lift my head up.

so i cried like a baby from the pain and it was a sunday so the chinese clinics are all probably closed and deon was so nice to entertain me on the phone while i lied down on the bed cus it's the position that doesn't cause pain. T-T
and my dad pulled me up and helped me apply some ointment and we went to some seafood restaurant to eat good food like crabs and shark fin's soup (sorry sharks and shark-lovers) which i would have enjoyed more if my neck didnt hurt and i didn't look like a weirdo with a tilted neck!!!111111

my dad told me the guy would give me acupuncture if i went and it would hurt a lot and i was so scared :'(

went to sleep that night hoping that it would go away as suddenly as it came!

in the morning my dad woke me up and asked if it still hurt..i tried turning my head to the right again and it still hurt as much T___T it's like waking up to a nightmare once again.

so we went to the chinese clinic and i was like the only young person there (i hope i'm not the only young person that this happened to...old problems always occur to me!!)

and i was feeling kinda nervous but not nervous and i couldn't wait for it to be over and finally it was my turn and i went in and the guy cracked my neck then did acupuncture which didn't hurt as much..cus the needles are pretty thin and it's not like he pushes the whole needle in, it just barely got into my skin. but i could still feel the prick.

then he started doing the cupping thing, it's like putting cup-like thingys and then there's some vacuum suction thing and it starts sucking on your skin and blood comes out lol.
it didn't hurt much and was *kinda* relaxing but i could feel how tense my muscles were, it's like a vampire was sucking on my skin! (pricks from needles = teeth, sucking = cupping)

and he went to crack my neck again and said he couldn't do more.

and i was given pain killers (i think) for 2 days and some ointment to rub on my skin.

so my neck still hurt and it kinda hurt more lol, and my muscles felt tenser and tighter and my siblings and dad said they could see the red marks from the needles and cupping ;_ ;

i rmb seeing the pictures from cupping when researching on tcm for project work, the red bloody circles!! anyway it's on the back of my neck and my back so i couldn't see it even if i was curious enough to look (which i was).

the next day i couldn't sit for an hour without my neck and back feeling super sore ;_ ;

and the day after that too.

but i could slowly feel my neck improving, i could turn my head more easily and gradually i recovered :D

anyway, during those few days i felt bad because i didn't study or do any homework!!!
wasted so many days. ;_ ;
need to study from tmr onwards!!! (weekends is for relaxing kkkkkk)

speaking of relaxing, there was free starbucks on thursday! :D
the queue at simei was like freaking long, it even reached the mrt station!

and my younger sis went to queue with my friend...and being the cheapskate me, deon & i decided to go as well :D
but we decided to go to the one at changi city point cus the queue should be shorter and i was avoiding people lol, and we haven't been to changi city point before! (it's new) it's opposite expo so it's super close, another place to study at :D
and the queue there was really short as compared to the one at simei!
i bet the one at tampines was like --------------------------------------- a gazillion times of this line lol. (now that i think of it the line i typed is actually short..like 10cm?)

yayyy free starbucks *w*

not sure what happened on friday...probably nothing.

on saturday our class had to do cip! (community involvement programme)
it's my 2nd time doing flag day, and i really don't like asking people for donations!

at one time my friend asked this woman for a donation and she was like 'study!!!!' she thought we were beggars lololollol?!?!?!

i rested for an hour at the food court because i didn't have lunch (save money) and felt like fainting+puking from standing too long lol.

then deon came and helped me ask for donations too kkkkkkkk. he donated too! :')
(i didn't even donate to my own tin lol)

and this kind old lady donated 10 bucks i was like whuthe;jfdoifawhoe;fijao;ijhre!!!!!!!
sooooooooo kinddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. *-*
i bet that's worth an hour (or more) of standing under the sun asking for donations because most people just put in a small amount of coins!

and it's weird because i'm disappointed at the number of people who just ignore you with a black face when you ask for donations (maybe i was one of them lol) but at the same time i feel so grateful that there are many who are willing to donate and even if they don't, they smile at you like that: ^^;;;, makes me feel that there's some hope left in this world!

some people that i didn't think would donate donated even without asking and i really hope they live a good life! they deserve it.

anyway, had to 'beg' for 4 hours and was so happy when it ended!!!

........and we went to eat ramen. lol. it's been so long since i spent so much money on food ;_______ ; because i got a set meal.

anyway......the next day (today) we went cycling (even though my left arm hurt from carrying a tin can - it was heavy from all the coins ok!) and it's been so long since i cycled!
was deciding between cycling or shopping or studying or cycling then studying or shopping then studying or....

and when i woke up i was in the mood for cycling but it was raining :(
but by the time deon got here it stopped raining and the weather was perfect for cycling! *-*
it was like cloudy and windy...i don't think i sweat at all! (well okay maybe i did......but not as much as if it was on a normal humid day)
and i really enjoyed myself because the cool wind blowing against your body when you cycle fast felt soo good *-* (fast as in normal speed to the average healthy person who exercises adequately)
and it's been so long since i've cycled!

and i didn't know that the park at downtown east (is it called pasir ris park?) had horses!!!!! and hens lol. so cooooooooooooooool..........and smelly.

and there's also another bicycle rental place in the middle of the park that's like 2 hours for the same price lol. *feels cheated*

after an hour we returned the bike and went to walk this path that we couldn't enter with bikes...i love those nature trails *-*
but i would definitely feel safer if there wasn't anyone else around because there's always the potential that he/she could kill you inside that remote area and nobody would know........ ;_ ;
not sure why but i'm becoming more and more fearful of death :( i don't wanna die gory-ly!

had 18chefs for dinner, it's the best cheap-but-good place for food......and the next best cheap-but-good place is Aston's! they serve western food that's like swensens or jack's place (or better) quality and the price is like...half of the 'norm' price for food like that. even the aston's shop at the coffeeshop at tampines serves good quality food. *-* it's so weird, like a hidden gem among coal. but coal is useful too. how else do you get electricity!?!? (wait, do you get electricity from coal lol, yes right :X /basics fail)

anyway...ahhh i feel so refreshed after doing a good deed even if i was forced to (cip) and embracing nature (kinda) though i complained that my shoes were wet from the puddles of water after the rain. ;_ ;

today was a great day even though we had some tense moments for awhile!

okay should sleep now, don't wanna wake up with a bad neck or back or a headache or-

gentle yet violent.

2011-12-09T23:17:00.004+08:00

"what is love?
the world is overwhelmed.
but it is still beautiful as it is."

forever & always.

2011-12-07T22:45:00.002+08:00

cried when i listened to the lyrics...

i love how everything builds up and comes together towards the end.....:'(

sigh

guess i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

2011-11-30T21:07:00.003+08:00

down with flu the last 2 days. :(

slept at 4am last night and woke up at 3pm today T__T
sucks to wake up seeing half the day was spent sleeping...i'll never sleep so late again!! D:

crampsssss, didn't do anything today but roll around complaining about cramps.
*feels useless*

yeahhhh last day of choir practice for the year tmr! :):)

andddd i think i'm eating too many panadol pills. :(

3 random useful stuff

2011-11-29T21:22:00.002+08:00

greasy foods don't cause pimples (unless you smear them all over your face). it's food that contain iodine, like shellfish, sushi and soy sauce that causes them.
cold water doesn't close your pores, it only makes the blood vessels contract, so your face feels tighter
sleeping in 1.5hour cycles (e.g. 1.5hours, 3hrs, 4.5, 6) will help you feel fresh after waking up

dream

2011-11-26T23:30:00.001+08:00

Exact thing that I typed when I woke up last night.

Omg...i just woke up crying from this dream(dream, not nightmare!)

There were 4people who lived on this beautiful and peaceful island in a castle, they were the rulers of that place, 2girls and 2guys. They were all good friends. Then one day the 2guys decided to steal the stuff of one of the girls. Not only did they steal her stuff, they wanted to take away her whole position as a ruler. (forgot some parts here) the girl felt very hurt and ran away with the other girl somewhere. They were sitting at a table when the two guys found them. Then the other girl joined them and took out a purse that she stole from the girl when she was bathing. It was the only thing she had left. She felt so hurt..even her best friend did it. The two guys started discussing on how they should kill her..maybe they could shoot her with a flaming arrow, it will be nice to watch. Shocked, the girl ran away again and climbed down many many many many many flights of stairs. She could hear footsteps chasing her. When she finally reached the bottom, she sat down and put her head faced down on the table as so many sad things happened to her. Then a cute flying animal flew beside her with a purse in its mouth. It was the girl's purse. It returned it to her. Then her best friend (who somehow turned into a guy in this scene) came in..the girl said 'when I was bathing..there was no one behind me' (referring to how her best friend stole her purse) the guy blushed, and the girl started crying from being touched that all this was over.

It doesnt sound as amazing and emotional when I read what I typed but in my dream I felt whatever the girl felt and saw what she saw..the feelings were real and the place was really beautiful, a huge castle with lots of trees around it and a waterfall. Amazing...

Went out with eleanor to shop today but I didnt buy anything to save money...i wouldn't have enough to go out more than 2times if I bought something today. D:

Worried about many things..gonna sleep it away...:(

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trypophobia

2011-11-25T19:18:00.003+08:00

thanks to deon i have discovered why i can't look at cells or hole-y things...

i have trypophobia! yayyyy

it's a fear of hole-ly things (don't dare to go back to the info site again cus it contains lots of hole-y illustrations jfds;lajf)

who would put those stuff at a site that wants to explain more about that phobia!? (though it isn't an official phobia yet, but i found that quite a number of people have that 'phobia')

obviously their target audience would be for people who think they have them and want to find out more about it... i couldn't even scroll through half the page because of all the pictures oh my godddddddddddddddddddddd

i feel so itchy now i can't stop scratching myself AHHFSLKJDLADFKJA i seriously believe i will lose my sanity if i watch a 5min video of hole-y things...just thinking about it makes me shudder...

school holidays finally started! :D
though it's more of a 'study break'.

at least i'll get my sleep~

cats are like humans too... :'(

2011-11-25T01:03:00.001+08:00

http://www.catwelfare.org/

i read the special appeals and lost and found page...and realised how similar to humans they are!

"the smile that i managed to produce..i hate it, i hate it, and then i cry."

2011-11-23T21:22:00.003+08:00

These crammed wounds

hurt, they hurt, but I can't say that
Therefore, it's because
you don't realize

Your words are what kill me
You do not know what my heart is like
The light that disappeared does not emit light anymore
"I" am able to "lie" about "I"
......................................

got all depressed today.

probably due to lack of sleep...(4hrs)
had mass dance and the atmosphere got more and more tense...until i left.

no wonder i like to take "breaks" from socializing during the holidays...

dear diary,

2011-11-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

i want to live a wholesome, fulfilling life...

but i'm just too lazy to actually go out there and make it happen.

talentless. instrumentless.

2011-11-23T00:09:00.003+08:00

people have sudden wants for a pet dog/hamster/rabbit/guinea pig/dunno. (notice i excluded cats...dont know why most people dont like cats!!!!)

...i suddenly want to get a guitar/keyboard. :(

i even went to google for online stores.

cheap guitar: http://www.musiciansfriend.com/guitars/rogue-ra-090-dreadnought-acoustic-guitar

cheap keyboard: http://www.musiciansfriend.com/keyboards-midi/yamaha-ypg-235-76-key-portable-grand-piano-keyboard

need to read more reviews though...

*acting as if i can play any of those instruments T-T*

"'cause i've been trying way too long, to try and be the perfect song; when our hearts are heavy burdens, we shouldn't have to bear alone."

2011-11-22T00:52:00.004+08:00

...............................................

happy 7th monthsary! ♥

might edit again tmr... gonna sleep good night (moon)~

edit:

i gave him a.......cheap pig coin bank lololololol i feel so bad!!!!!

he gave me a toy pink rose and a letter. in a recycled envelope which i made last time.
i love letters! :')))))))) i love reading words...i love reading honest, meaningful words...

it really made my day (or night).

thank you!

ok need to sleep now need to wake up at 6am tmr :( bbbbbb.

oh yeah i am like so lonely in choir everyone is either bitchy or weird and almost everyone is so fake i dont know why choir people are always like that. ok maybe it's me since it's the same in sec sch too.
the altos in bds choir were kinda weird except for yan xiang :(:(.........oh wait is eileen in alto too O_O (always thought her voice was quite high???) anyway she is weird too hahahahahahahalol but not that kind of bad weird, it's a good weird. :D

i like weird people. but not the bad weird people........fjkld;sfj;lkfja;lkjfasf i always dread choir.....so left out. i'm even being left out by the weird people.

and i can see/hear people talking about me sometimes like why am i so quiet and emo jfsdal;fdja even my friend told me someone from my choir asked her why :(

sobs.

well at least it isn't like that in my class. i wouldn't wanna go to sch at all if it is lol.

ok bye~

vampires are real.

2011-11-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/twilight-debunked--a-real-life-vampire-on-the-truth-about-vampire-lore.html

aww..i remember reading about this type of vampires 1-2 years ago. :'D
*proud of self for some reason*

time is power.

2011-11-21T00:01:00.006+08:00

watched In Time yst (or yst yst since it's 12am...writing in my diary/blogging is always so troublesome at after-12am timings >.> ) at Nex!

the plot is pretty cool...and watching such a pretty lead actress and lead actor made it better. *-*
though i guess the ending could have become more dramatic...but i like happy endings. :D
(oops did i just spoil anything...though there's nothing to spoil since most ppl would have watched the movie by now lol)

i loooooooooveeeeeee justin timberlake's voice...and his baldness, lol.

anyway.........off to another topic.

being in a relationship is tough.

when a couple says they've been together for 1 year or 2 or 5 or 7 years, i guess it just looks like a simple number to anyone else, because you've never been through what they've been through.

though, some may be together for yearssss but have not been through much. i don't want a relationship like that.

would you rather be truly happy in a 1-month relationship than be sad all the time in a 1-year relationship?
i think people focus too much on how long you've been together..like 'let's make this last' or something, *oh wait why do i feel like i've said something like this before-* but really, i would rather choose the first one.

*back to toughness*

it's like being in a friendship, except you have more fights and you're required to be more committed to each other.

scale:

depressed o-------------------o extremelymeltdownishhappy

if i compare the two together, it's like friendship is

depressed o--------------x----o extremelymeltdownishhappy

here.

but if you're best friends i guess it could be

depressed o-----------------x-o extremelymeltdownishhappy

here.

and for lovers on some days you could be

depressed x-------------------o extremelymeltdownishhappy

depressed.

and on other days it could be

depressed o-------------------x extremelymeltdownishhappy

you'd-name-that-day-the-best-day-of-your-life kind of happy.

i'm just over-generalising though..there's always stuff like this and that that makes it all untrue.

oh yeah, i thought my right contact lens was stuck in my eye yst and even went to cut my nails to make sure it wasn't me not being able to take it out.
and i did sooo many things, from rubbing my eye with my finger to soaking it in this eyewash thing....
i also went to wear my specs to see if the vision of my right eye improves, and it did!
but i don't remember dropping the lenses or anything!!!! D:

anyway, i can't believe i touched my real eyeball lol..........
poor eye, it was so red after all the torturing i did to it to hand over the contact lens!

turns out it wasn't there all along.

*sigh* wearing contacts sucks.
it's been like..more than half a year and i'm still using the daily 30days one lol, i think i used up only 7 days so far..(including the ones i accidentally torn lol, and i tear one almost every time i wanna wear contacts...;_ ;)

suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

school for one. more. week.

i'm so afraid for school to end.

that means studying. that means only 1 month of studying. that means after that 1 month of studying, you are pushed to next year. that means you only get 1 month of studying before you are hit with torrents of new stuff...chem, phy, maths, econs...gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!111!1

it also means i only have 1 month of break...and i wonder if that will be enough...enough to keep us satisfied for next year.

when will things ever be enough anyway?

i'll also miss 2 of my classmates who couldn't be advanced........

life will be less happy and more mundane without them. :(

so, yes..."time is power."
not only In Time, but also in the world of ours...
(awkward punny link to show that i didn't go off-track gahahhahahaha)

【那些年，我們一起追的女孩】 the days we spent wooing that girl together.

2011-11-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

*sobs*

watched You Are The Apple of My Eye today with the class during our superduper long break!

i didn't expect it to be that good...it reminded me of koizora except less exaggerated and more relatable...

oh man, can't believe it's actually a true story...
the guy must have loved that girl very much to write a story about it which happened to be so good that it became a hit movie. :')

i wonder if the girl even knows it's about her!

it's NC16 though, so there are lots of errrrrr........ weird scenes lol.
(obviously the guys in my class got all excited)

and at first when i saw the lead actress i was like 'eh...not pretty what.'
but as i watched more i thought that she's so pretty! *-*
and the guy too...

the lead actor reminded us(the whole class) of this guy called andrew in our class, seriously...almost exactly the same lol.

super super nice show even though it's in chinese! :'D

i'm so happy that it's so famous so more people can watch it!

i felt emo after watching it though lol.

though i still can't understand why this part happened in the movie......:(

*sighs* i think humans make love too complicated...

bottle tree park

2011-11-16T21:13:00.003+08:00

bottle tree park, we went there not long ago (was it last week lol) cus i was feeling stressed from pw and also thinking too much about j2. :(

it's a really pretty kampung-ish place with many activities to do (though on that day it seemed like there was nothing) and also restaurants??? (from what i saw on their site)

and i'm not sure if the lack of benches was intentional but.....there's like almost no benches at all so we had to sit on random decoration rocks T__T

(in fact it's the exact one in the picture below LOL.....one of those rocks lining the tree!)
and i don't know if there is such thing as a bottle tree (went to google it and couldn't find much about it so i guess it doesn't exist??? or does it...) but awwww that tree really does look like a bottle tree lol. i hope it's real.

there's also birds at this cage thing and small plots of land for cultivating crops/whatever they're cultivating. *-*

it's kinda difficult to get there (especially for directions-challenged people like me) but it's worth it :D

anyway, the inspiration that came from this place is very meaningful.

"What led to the establishment of Bottle Tree Pte Ltd was 5 men’s vision to create a concept village where there will be sports, recreational facilities, conference rooms, eateries, not forgetting nature. The partners were driven by how society had been constantly trying to climb up the corporate ladder that very often, it forgets that an individual’s existence people around them to make it more meaningful."

how meaningful....

when deon told me that that place belonged to 5 people, i thought they made it just because they could, like 'oh yeah i'm rich and i own a plot of land woohoo' lol.

how wrong i am! :')

anyway, those pics weren't taken by me, i googled it kkkkkkkk.

something random:

today i saw on fb this guy posted "if an elderly and a child was drowning and you could only save one, which will you save?"

and his stand was to save the elderly because the elderly is more knowledgable and would better contribute to society, while a child might be influenced negatively as he grows and become useless even if he has the potential to contribute more.

he also said that society has this bias that all elderly are useless and treasure youths more because they are the future.

i didn't wanna comment on his post cus i don't really know him (lol) but i just needed somewhere to write down my thoughts ;_ ;

so... i think that when you save someone you don't think about saving him so that he can benefit society...you'll just think for the sake of that person you're saving. (even though policemen and firemen and x-men are hired to benefit society..but i don't think the policemen and firemen and x-men themselves think that way...and even if they do, when you're actually saving someone, it's hard not to think about the welfare of the person but society instead)

i believe in giving everyone a chance in life...and since an eldery person has already lived most of his life already, i would rather save a child who is too young to know what to do with life yet.
(actually...i wonder if there are people who don't know what to do with their lives even when they've had a chance to live for so long...i don't want to be like that)

besides..the elderly person should know well enough to not go into the water if it isn't safe for him, (assuming he is mentally healthy) the child might not know as much.

at this point i'm not sure what i'm saying so.........

ANYWAY!

handed in the gpp file today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(or was it gpf file, lol i'm so confused!!!! what does gpp stand for anyway?!?!?! i know gpf is group project file lol)

a sense of liberation *-*

......until i had to go for choir after that. lol

dsa (direct sch admission) students are coming in..it's so embarrassing cus i sing worse than them...i think i sing the worst in choir!!!!!!

eoy lectures till end of next week, then sch officially ends *-*

and i need to start studying then. :(

oh, lastly...

ever since i've been in a r/s i've been trying very hard not to blog about our days tgt and switched to writing in a diary but it hasn't been working...i either forget to write cus i leave it at the very end of the day before i sleep to write or i get too tired to write.
typing is so much easier. :(

(random: imagine having to do pw in written writing.......i'll have lots of cancellations, lol)

and i am so so afraid i'll forget what happened on this day and that so i'm starting to blog about some of those days......sorry if it's annoying.
(not that many people read my blog anyway LOL)

make a promise please, you'll always be in reach, just in case i need you there when i call.

2011-11-15T23:57:00.005+08:00

.....................................

today started out not-so-good-ish (i can imagine my ex gp teacher frowning)

woke up at 1pm+ and bathed...

then the air-con man came and my mum just left us kids with the air-con man!!!!!! (been sleeping on the sofa since thursday...that's 5 days!!)
*felt unsafe*
and i felt bad cus we kinda just ignored him...but you can't expect us to talk to him or something right...but it was like we treated it like he didn't exist T_T ahhhhhh so bad.

and then deon didn't reply me till 5pm and he had sch at 9ish(?) today?

at first i was like 'ok he's probably busy' then later on i was wondering if he was ignoring me..then i remembered he told me he wouldn't ignore me but i rmbered him saying something that aquarians like being ignored sometimes (from the prev. horoscope) and wondering if it's cus of that........ then i got angry and didn't wanna care and lastly i got super worried cus i was wondering if he got knocked down by a car or something when he was rushing to sch cus he was probably late and i got super worried i couldn't do anything (not that i have much to do anyway)!

i waited till 5pm (sch ended) to call him and turns out he's sick and just woke up. ;_ ;

i was super relieved i lied down on the table and teared up T_T

i was also reminded of when this guy told me he had a girlfriend but she drowned in a swimming pool..........
i wonder how he felt......i think if i were him i'll feel guilty about getting another girlfriend or something.
i don't think i can handle the loss of a loved one yet.....but of course, who can?
sometimes we're just suddenly thrown into such a situation and are forced to deal with it.....ahhhhhhhhhh i don't want to..i'm so scared. (talking about grandma)

i haven't stopped thinking of her....and oh yeah, a few days ago on sunday we went to grandma's house for some buffet thing cus it's my aunt's baby's dunno-how-old thingy lol. (ok i don't know anything and don't really bother knowing lololol)
i can't stop worrying about it..even though she doesn't live with us anymore and it won't affect us as much as before.....i'm still so afraid. :(

anyway, *digressed*
went to accompany deon to see the doctor....and omg it happened again.....
i went to stop halfway at redhill, not cus i thought there was a terrorist on a train but i did thought some people were terrorists and was considering whether i should change trains (i seriously have terrorist-train phobia!!!!!) but then i decided that if i'm meant to die then i shouldn't escape my fate so i just stayed in the train......
so anyway, i stopped at redhill cus i suddenly couldn't breathe and the train was super crowded and this woman had a smelly newspaper and it was right under my nose!!! (ok kinda exaggerating...but it was pretty close to my nose)
and my hands started to feel all tingly and turn numb it's like when i have super heavy menses on the first day and i'll always feel like fainting and puking and dying....

i felt like i was gonna have an asthmatic attack ;_ ; i wonder if it'll come back again....... not sure how my parents/doctor knew i had asthma last time, i don't remember getting an attack lol.

and i stood for super long....... so i finally couldn't take it anymore and stopped there to sit down and breathe.

omg....i think i'm claustrophobic.

i wonder how many more illnesses i'll discover/contract as my life continues.........

(back to story)
then i went back to take the train after quite awhileeeeeeeeeee.......
T_T i'm so pathetic lol.
this is why i don't give my blog url to anyone who might judge me...:(
though i guess it's normal to judge...it's part of human nature...? or is it not...

just glanced thru a few lines before this and i see that i'm beginning to dot a lot.
i rmb i used to not like people dotting lol.

i also rmb how i used to not like green tea but then i suddenly like it a lot.....i like the heaven and earth one better than pokka one now when it was the opposite before.

we waited like an hour for his turn to come (busybusybusy clinic).....stood for so long ;_ ;
oh yeah, on the train after i stopped at redhill i still had trouble breathing but it was a liiiiiiiiittle bit better.

ate fish soup at kopitiam.....the person asked if i wanted rice and i said no...cus i thought there'll be noodles. but she didn't give me any noodles!!!
she must've thought i'm weird, like who orders fish soup without any noodles/rice lol.
and then i read 'zha yu' (fried fish) as 'shao yu' LOL *embarrassed*
the person corrected me ;_ ; not sure if she noticed though or was she just repeating the order lol.

i've been craving for fish soup for awhile now...grrr why doesn't my sch sell it!!!
used to eat it at least once a week. :(

his parents fetched me home, yayyyy got home early. :)

oh yeah, op was not so bad.
i think i presented well!
but my q&a sucked. that means.......a B grade????
noooooooooooooo i don't want a B grade T_____T

handing in the whole gpf tmr......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can't believe it.
it's really over. :)

like what my horoscope for today said...

"Your word for the day is joy, Aquarius, because there simply hasn't been enough of it in your life recently. You've been keeping your nose to the grindstone, and you may have become a bit antisocial - turning down invitations and keeping to yourself to shtat you can get as much as possible done for your career or other obligations. But it's time for a break, and you really need one. You need to spend at least a little bit of each day doing something that brings you joy and fulfillment, or else you'll wind up digging yourself into a deep hole that won't be easy to climb out of. Start today, and you'll find yourself smiling more often."

i think this is one of the most helpful advice they've given me.

because my day did end great today. :)

and it may seem like i believe in horoscopes too much......but i just use it as a guide...when it doesn't relate to me then i just ignore it, but when it does, it's useful. :D

only 6hours of sleep left...and there's cca tmr ;_ ;
good night!

aquarius

2011-11-15T00:41:00.004+08:00

(yes..yet another horoscope thing)
most accurate one i found!!!!

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.

Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she cannot find such a person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader, a real confident type. She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself.

Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she will start to flirt with you, because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked. She likes a COOL guy who will sometimes act like he is ignoring her, so she has a chance to show him her own confidence.

She likes to guess her man’s reaction, but at the same time she likes to have many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do things differently from other people in her same society. She dares to fight for what she thinks belongs to her. Even if she acts confident she mostly feels lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone, she won’t show any emotion even if deep down inside she is in pain and agony.

Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has “Faith” in the word “Love”. She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guys. She loves “Freedom” so before and after marriage, her freedom has to be the same.

She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow. She likes to be the one who is “Right”, so if you argue with her, let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight-forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say “It’s over” be prepare to leave, she is not testing you.

She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean “small loan”. Do not keep secrets from her, she hates it and it really can piss her off badly. When she is sad, be understanding.

When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that. You will not get bored with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let her talk alone, if you do she will leave.

She has many types of jobs because she believes what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a “Working Woman” then you will be OK. If she is mad, find a shelter for the “Hurricane” is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though.

She is not a revenge type and will not think of “payback” time. Most people might think of her as “One of a guy”, but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is honest, truthful and will never bore you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

every. single. bit. is true(except for the more guy friends than girl friends one)...which is kinda creepy.
it makes me think that every aquarian is like that.
and if we are all like that, then......how does that make us unique?
oh....i guess different experiences and lifestyles makes your personality different.
so even if everyone was born with the same 'set' of personality for a certain horoscope then it can't be entirely the same...i guess. (trying to comfort self)

aquarius relationship matches:

Aquarius is a sign that is willing to compromise their logic but not their uniqueness. This means that Aquarius has the important distinction of being a person that can back down in an argument if they feel that they are wrong. Lover’s can rejoice in the easygoing nature that their Aquarian lovers possess.

Despite the more cool and logical world that the Aquarian inhabits, they are ready to kick up their heels and get down for an evening on the town. Uncomfortable in more one on one situations where their emotional side my be left exposed and sensitive, your water lover may shy away from that type of internal exposure and trade it for a fun and “life of the party” personality. They are dynamic and interesting, and it is more useful to avoid pushing them to cry on your shoulder when hard things happen, or sit quietly discussing their emotions, but engage them on an active level. This will give them a chance to connect with you on a less risky level.

In light of this primarily lived in the exterior life, the fear of rejection can be an overwhelming fear for some Aquarians. This can mean that those under the affectionate glare of an Aquarius, will probably be completely unaware of the attention. Your Aquarian is a little bit deficient in the expression department, and can sometimes be tempted to EWD (email while drunk), against the advice of their friends, or use other alternate forms of communication to convey their feelings, while avoiding face to face dialogue at all cost. This may seem charming at first but can lead to disaster, since all the cute and charming advances using beanie babies, or elaborate floral arrangements can only bring you so close to the door, in the end you have to step through it.

**A hint to those interested in Aquarian men or women: Reach out and touch someone. Seriously, don’t wait for them to make the first move, you won’t be disappointed but you will be waiting a long time if you choose to force them to make the first move.

Despite their incommunicado behavior, the Aquarian is ready to kick ass and take names. Born with the fighting instinct as a natural part of their character, the need to take on causes and to lead the charge toward change, can many times translate into a fierce desire to see their lover succeed. They can be like a cheerleader, pom-poms in hand, secretly directing the movement of all those around their loved one, so as to ensure success. But beware of the Aquarius’ inner leader, since organizing lovers and friends can lead to relationships feeling out of balance and may cause people to draw away from you.

One of the really important things to avoid allowing the Aquarius sign to do is become overly cold and removed. The internal life and intellectual pursuits that follow Aquarius can be an isolating factor rather than a liberating influence. Make sure that you make your partner do things that engage and involve them in the real world. If they have been hurt before, show them that they can trust you, and if they are afraid of being hurt, assure them that it is simply part of life.
She’s looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available. LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she’s just protecting herself.

Best Relationship Matches

Gemini Has a deep love for unpredictable adventure, and can understand the conflict and the heart of your character.

Libra Will love your beauty and sensuality as much as you love theirs. Libra will also understand your desire to be alone.

Worst Relationship Matches

Taurus Need more stability and less intensity

Cancer More homebound and less prone for your adventurous

Virgo They need too much order for your lifestyle

pretty true also...some things i never even realised. D: like the "more useful to avoid pushing them to cry on your shoulder or discuss their emotions and engage them on an active level" part. though i'm not sure how i can be engaged actively o. o lol.
thru music??????????????? wut

another thing i never realised that always happens to me is the "becoming overly cold and removed. The internal life and intellectual pursuits that follow Aquarius can be an isolating factor rather than a liberating influence" part.

it usually happens when i have too much free time....and i start reading (fiction) or watch too much anime or listen to too much emo music (ok last two not really an intellectual pursuit but it's part of internal life and....i have learnt a lot from music and anime, really!!!)

and awww......:(
virgo does not match aquarius.......
but that does not mean it's impossible to work things out right?????////////?/////

read your own horoscope here. :D

it's 1am......been on the comp for like the whole day lol.

gonna read virgo's horoscope then go to sleep.

i've learnt something new about myself today. :D

a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather; i was praying that you and me might end up together.

2011-11-10T20:57:00.002+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
rotted at heinrich's house today till like 6pm+ lol.
we practised abit though.......(he's not even in our group lolol, it's like some impromptu combined-yet-separation group rehearsal/slack session lol)

sigh
i don't like social gatherings :(

always pressured to go for class outings!
i don't mind going if it's something i like. and that i wont feel like im wasting my life away.
the thing is even if i didn't have a boyfriend i doubt i'll wanna attend them...that has nothing to do with it!
*kinda talking to myself here*

had a nice dinner today...baked potato (a wholeeee potato lol) and fried fish fingers and cream of corn soup and salad (only my sudden-salad-obsessed younger sis ate it i think)

so sleepy.........
have op exam tmr.

gonna read through wr & i&r and blablablabalbalbala to prepare forr q&a though i kinda doubt nothing i expect to come out will come out (which has happened for oral alllll this time)
and also...even if i expected it to come out i won't have much to say cus i can't think fast on the spot. ;_ ;

tempted to watch this anime i saw at heinrich's house!
it's called nura: rise of the youkai *-*~~

it's been so long since i watched anime for real!!!!!
(as in watch for hoursssss..........i only managed to watch like 2-3 eps of gintama so far after exams lol)

"why is it that wet hair is darker, when water is colourless?"

2011-11-06T14:46:00.002+08:00

awwww....the maths lecturer showed us that equation for the last lecture this year (.....last lecture until next next week lol)

back to yuyoyuppe

2011-11-04T19:33:00.004+08:00

don't know anything, don't know if yuyoyuppe made this vocaloid.
but she(Mew) sounds amazing *-*
and i've missed yuyouppe's songs......

oh, just saw how he looked like on a yt video.
he's actually pretty good looking. and talented.

how can that be??????????//?/?/

don't just hear me, listen to me...

2011-11-04T17:02:00.002+08:00

:(
i don't know why i am so sensitive.

in fact i am over-sensitive.

especially when teachers criticize me...

that's why i always feel like crying/cry in parent-teacher meets and also today during op.
some experienced teacher who likes making fun of students and criticizing them suddenly came into our op presentation today.

i don't mind criticism in a nice way but he doesn't seem to appreciate whatever we've done............ok maybe i was really bad in my presentation but i.....just.....jfd;asoijfwe;lrjal;fkje

today i don't even know what to say.

.

i can only cry...i'm such a cry baby. i hate that.

i feel like i have so many things bottled inside me and sometimes i really want to tell someone but i don't know how to.

and it doesn't work if i just keep telling deon... i need friends too.
my classmates don't understand me...i don't think they can.

jughfdsal;jfalj

i guess the problem lies with me.

i always think it's true...and it is true right? that the person i want to pour out my feelings to doesn't want to listen to my crap.
that i'm bothering that person.

and so i feel worse and worse.....

i wonder if there's anyone who experiences this.......maybe everyone...maybe no one......

talk love and they say it sounds crazy.

2011-11-04T00:26:00.002+08:00

slept for 50mins on the sofa in a weird position in the student lounge today!!!
(was waiting for cca to start)
my classmates said that i was sleeping like a cat (the way my hands were positioned or something)
*proud of self*

........ok that was a useless accomplishment yet i've never felt so proud of myself for a long time!! :X
(exaggeration...or not)

got back results slip today.

i advanced! (means only managed to go to j2 after moderation)
ok bye.

"i miss you, i miss you."

2011-11-01T16:22:00.006+08:00

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim,
of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you)

Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always
This sick, strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time

And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides

Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head

(I miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head

(I miss you, I miss you)

rants

2011-11-01T15:10:00.003+08:00

he makes me feel like a child,
he makes me happy when he smiles.
he makes me sad, makes me mad,
i wanna give him all i have.

........................................

sick. ;_ ;

hopes i recover by tmr.

i finally found this song. :D

thought it was by some new singer (kinda sounded like vanessa hudgens) but it's jennifer lopez. and she's still so pretty at the age of 42 (i think). *-*

i love the feelings in that song.

*feels like i have things to say but not sure what*

oh, my classmates are really nice.
they asked me what was my budget and i said i wanted to eat in sch (save money) and they all stayed back in sch to eat with me ;_ ;

and today's a lot of people's birthday for some reason lol.

i can't believe it's november already.....
life in jc sure flies by quickly.
too quickly...:(

i've this classmate who didn't study (much) for promos and she advanced.
and this other classmate who studied a lot and retained.
i wonder why life is unfair like that...that some people have more talent in some areas than others.
some people are smart but don't make use of it...while those who aren't have to keep working hard.
i remember i always had to study for chinese spelling 4 days before in pri. sch to score 90+, while my friend studied right before and got the same marks as me lol.

i'm not the type to complain about these things..and i'm not complaining.
i just...wonder.

random: a lot of people are always amazed or something when they find out i'm left-handed.
because they said that left-handers are usually smart.
and i am like 'lololololol' cus i'm not smart.
and i just went to search about left handers.

they were related to the devil in the past *thank god i'm born in modern times*.
i could've been burnt or drowned or something ;_ ;
but when i was young my grandma (or was it my mum) beat me for being a left hander.
i remember they kept forcing me to use my right hand but i just kept switching back to my left hand for some reason lol.
:(

talking about 'bad' habits...i had a habit of blinking my eyes too much and my grandma would beat me for that too until it's gone now lol.

and my younger sis had a habit of saying s by biting on her tongue and i feel really bad now but i scolded and beat her too whenever she did that but now she's cured.

i wonder where we got those bad habits from...

about left-handers:

Leadership. About 66% of American presidents in the last 30 years were left-handed men. Bill Clinton, George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, and Gerald Fold were all left-handed presidents. Barack Obama and John McCain are both left-handed.

not true......i'm too lazy to be a leader..all the responsibilities! lololololol.

Quick thinkers. Studies have shown that lefties are “exceptional.” Australian research shows that left-handed people think more quickly when playing computer games or sports. Left-handed people also tend to earn more money.

nope..i'm super slow. i can probably beat the slowest person in the world in the slowest thinker record ;_ ;
the money part, all i know is that i'm cheapskate kkkkkkkk.

Sexuality. Research from Canada reveals this interesting quality of left-handed people: they’re more likely to be homosexual.

oh....got over this. though it's natural to look at pretty girls right right right??????

Mixed-handed people are more likely to alter their beliefs as they get new information, making them better able to see both sides of the story.

true....but i'm not mixed-handed! maybe in doing some stuff lol.

Independence: Some experts believe left-handed people are more independent because they’ve had to get along in a world that’s not made for them. Dr Peters says that lefties are “slightly more resistant to social pressures, to have more of an independent streak.”

dunno????? i guess i have been independent(in a stubborn way) since pri. sch.

Adaptability: Canadian research shows that left-handed people are more adaptable than right-handed people. That is, a lefty can use her right hand to do tasks much easier than a righty can use his hand. Left-handed people seem to be able to switch over more easily.

never really tried.

Left-handed people can deal with more incoming information that doesn't come in an organized way.

maybe......

Other handed items which could prove to be inconvenient for left-handers include camera, train-station turnstiles, can openers, potato peelers, corkscrews, rulers, computer mice and keyboards, watches, chequebooks, spiral notebooks, lever arch files, fishing reels, boomerangs, measuring cups and pencil sharpeners.

(ignore the underlined stuff lol, lazy to remove)
omg, i didn't realise that using the camera is difficult cus the button is at the right side lololol.

rulers....not sure how it affects left handers????? but ok.

computer mice - got used to it.

lever arch files - yes!!!!!!!! unless you flip the paper to the left side lol.

fishing reels - don't think it affected me when i went fishing with my family when i was young. though i did suck at fishing kkkkkk.

measuring cups - ?????

pencil sharpeners - yup...thank god/person-who-created-mechanical-pencils for mechanical pencils! oh wait, are you supposed to turn the sharpener or the pencil when you sharpen your pencil????? lol. or both?

and whenever i use something im confused about whether i should use my right or left hand (especially during pe, like hockey floorball etc lol). what if i learn the guitar?!?!? oh yeah, they have left-handed guitars too lol.

Also, in some countries classrooms and offices are designed to maximize the use of natural light by placing desks so that the windows are on the left. This often creates inconveniences for left-handers as the shadow of their left hand with the pen makes it harder to see the text being written.

...................i.......thought this happened to everyone.
seriously the shadow is so annoying lol.
even at home the window is at the left ;_ ;
and i'm too stubborn to sit on the other side of the table. :X

One of the few items in common use that is actually advantageous for left-handers is the QWERTY keyboard. Over 3000 words in English can be typed with only the left hand on the QWERTY board as opposed to some 300 with the right hand, and overall, 56% of the keystrokes made when touch-typing on a QWERTY board are made with the left hand.

yay! :D though i usually type with my right hand when my other hand is busy (like holding an ice cream cone lol) cus the enter bar is at the right side........

also read that scissors is more difficult to use for left-handers.
i knew it!!!!
(that + my lack of art talent = inability to cut in straight lines)

Take heart, righties: Searleman's study also found that lefties have worse memories than their right-handed peers.

true..very true.

when you put two irrelevant things together...it makes more sense.

2011-10-30T19:41:00.001+08:00

"JC is too short to be fooling around too much; and life is too long to regret what you failed to achieve in school." - ex chem teacher.

holiday mood

2011-10-26T23:27:00.001+08:00

Today was...pretty eventful.

1) got off the train at bugis which wasnt my destination because I thought this guy was a terrorist. :X I was freaking scared!!!!!! And yes im a coward. :( half-hoped my suspicions would be true so I wouldnt look cowardly lol...but nope...life goes on. D:

2) saw mr.lye (my gp tutor who left the sch alr) at tm!!! Wanted to say hi but was too embarrassed to. :X actually went to avoid him lol. T.T im such a disappointing student!

3) bumped into yan jie, rayson and wei jie (classmates) when I was with deon.........some ppl from the class went to kbox today and im too self-conscious to really sing infront of people so....>.> feels bad cus it looks like I chose him over them! But if it was a movie or smth I would go with them..really!

4) went to tampines to hunt for the aston's stall ive liked ever since I tried it at yew tee! (which closed down) nicest cheapest western food ever. (comparable/higher standard to swensens, and like at half the price) *-* I really support shops that sell high quality stuff at a cheap price! (duh, *cheapskate*)

5) realised how much everyone needed this deepavali break in the middle of..nowhere, lol. The trains were packed since the mornings!

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happy (half hr late lol) 6th monthsary.

2011-10-23T00:15:00.002+08:00

exactly what i wanted to say. :)

thank you for learning from mistakes and improving for me all the time...i'll try my best for you too!

mike tompkins

2011-10-20T21:43:00.003+08:00

omg...amazing.

this guy is seriously amazing!!!!!!

his singing is only average, but it's not the singing that makes him amazing.

it's the fact that he makes his songs with only his mouth and voice *-* it's literally using your body as your instrument! goshhh so talented.

and not only that...he takes sooo much effort in making his videos, you can just tell.
to have to record so many different times for the same song..and if you're just doing a beat, you have to do it for like 3mins/?????

and he still manages to look humorous and cute while doing those stuff, my first impression of him was that he reminded me of Jim Carrey..cus he likes to do faces like that too.

i admire people who put a lot of effort in their work. *-*

subliminal

2011-10-19T23:10:00.001+08:00

45 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON'T ASK FOR:

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
...4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.

35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.

You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love .. ♥!

my comment: poor guys..............

my life is 41

2011-10-15T13:43:00.004+08:00

...........................................

Isn't this basically good enough? Isn't it fine being adequate?
Why not allow a little suspense? Why not lead a fun life?
If you're tired, can't you sleep? Isn't some occasional fun good?

The things we want to do... aren't they what we're living for?

Isn't this basically good enough? Isn't it fine to mess up?
If something troubles you, well, isn't that really just for the time being?
Take things one at a time, know what you want to do with what
The things you want to do... aren't they what you were born for?

Since there's no way to live perfectly
No one wants to live a perfect way, and so
I can be clumsy, and clumsy I'll stay

God, can you hear this song? Regardless of what you want of me
I want to laugh, and if I want to cry, I will
I always want to do what's natural to me
No one can experience a moment twice, and some, they'll surely regret
So we all walk our own paths with our own feelings, and that's fine

Isn't this basically good enough? Isn't it fine not aiming for the impossible?
If you're forcing a laugh, well, you can't be having much fun, can you?
Take things one at a time, know what you want to do with what
Getting a perfect score every time, well, no one can do that, can they?

Since there's no way to live perfectly
No one wants to live a perfect way, and so
I can be imperfect, and imperfect I'll stay

God, can you hear this song? Regardless of what you want of me
I want to laugh, and now, I want to cry out
The conclusion always is, there's no logic
In this singular dream of ours, seeing as the end will come someday
Only when it's time for life to end will we consider stopping, and that's fine

"Choose only what you want, and discard all you don't need"
For everyone to think that way... is pointless

credits: x
favourites: shounen-T x soraru, iciko

red

2011-10-10T22:50:00.003+08:00

shit.

got back physics (first period!!!! what a downer) and maths paper today.
my physics was like......no change seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
even after all the money spent on tutition and fjdkls;afjksdlfjaklej;werjoai;jrioasjfoisrjosiejrio;sjro;aijr omg it was all useless.
okay, i can't say tuition was useless. if i had more time to- if only we all had more time, duh, of course everyone would get A's. the purpose of jc is to squeeze 4 years of crap into 2 years of highly compressed crap so we will be more "ahead" right? i wish someone could have told me that jc would be this difficult BEFORE i started selecting my options. though...even if someone did tell me that, i'm not sure if i wouldn't choose jc.

and then maths, i got B. can't say i don't want more, but this is already good enough as compared to what i've been getting for the past !@#$@$@%#rjskfld;j;jf;lkjfl;askjflkdfj i can't even finish a proper sentence.
and the maths paper was easy, real easy. as in, not because i'm good in maths, but because the teachers set the simplest questions. none of the tough ones came out except for this one part that was worth 5 marks.
again, if only i had more time..

not sure how i'm gonna cram all the revising of what i dont know during december holidays, when i would obviously be in the holiday mood after pw and op and chi a lvls!

tmr, chinese first, then recess, then econs then chem. blow after blow after blow.
if my chem dies, i am dead! hi i'm ivana from 12s206 hahahahdld ladjlajd fskl;fjds;lfkajl;akjf. oh and no more curled hair(?) lol. not sure if i wanna waste money curling my hair when we are like sooo broke. seriously..if my mum keeps pawning her stuff and keeps borrowing our savings like that we're gonna be really really really broke. 1 parent is obviously not enough to support 5 children! even if that 1 parent is working so hard and earning a lot....... the other parent needs to work too! i dont even know if her reason that 'no one will take care of us at home or buy food for us' is valid..maybe she just wants to laze around at home watching tv and eating chips. ok, not gonna be mean.

today i was quite mean. because i was in a bad mood.
not sure how but i was in a pretty good mood last night and a pretty good mood when i woke up.
i guess i just get affected too easily by the people around me. saw lots of people crying today. and when my friend got back her maths she started doing corrections straight away which was very very scary. it's like she's gotten to the point when she's so sad she can't cry anymore. oh man i'm scared. not scared of her, but scared i might become like that..maybe not this year, next year. or maybe it'll be this year afterall.

and you know, my pw group members are realyl jsfdil;fja;ilerjoawirjwofi;hajeorjwiorjw;oerijwo;irja;orijw i'm quite annoyed by them. but it's not that bad yet. i dont know what will happen when it gets to the 'real bad' point and i'm afraid that i will get angry then cry then embarrass myself trust me this happened in p6 during art & craft yes i am a serious person even when it comes to art & craft!!

you know, sometimes i get random pics which i can relate to from people's tumblrs or facebook or random blogs and i forget where they came from and when i actually use/post them somewhere i always try to recall (but fail) its origin and fear that the person would know i stole it or something..i wonder if that only happens to me lol
it's not that i stole it, i just...i-i-i- i'm lazy to actually type in the name of the blog in my pics!! (like 'eletheowl1 eletheowl2' lolwhat??!?!?! does anyone actually do that?!?!)

and that's another problem with me.
sometimes i get so lazy which happens when im jaded and i just dont feel like anything is worth doing and life isn't worth living and i just wanna rot there somewhere until someone/myself gives me a wake up call like that time in china when there will be this automated voice calling at 10am for you to wake up and stuff and i will never know how it/she/he sounds like because i never pick up phones and i was conveniently bathing whenever it rings so my roommate was always the one to pick it up lol. and so i dont think i will get a wake up call anytime soon when i become lazy and jaded which was probably what happened to me during the hols in nov-dec, no work = nothing to do = uselessness = jadedness(?) = decay = calculate half life holyshit i forgot the existence of the stupid half life formula which caused me to lose 4323425 marks and i am ranting.

anyway, my point of the picture was that i thought that i was just sleepy and needed a nap so i went to sleep and when i woke up i seemed to be in a worse mood than before!!!!!!!
then i went to drink instant corn soup to try to comfort myself but it didn't really work and towards the end i felt kinda nauseous (happens with some instant soups) and then i went to eat dinner straight after that because i thought my mind was still too tired to do pw. and my mum fried chicken wings again like how she does whenever i have a sore throat haha sadist haa. and my younger sis was so nice to peel the skin of the wings for me. and my mum even added flour when she fried it to add the extra "kick" to my sore throat you know? that kick? in boots with those poky steel (not sure if it's steel or iron or gold or silver...what's the difference anyway, not as if you need it to conduct electricity, oh wait are they all metallic substances or are some of them ionic substances? if it's ionic does that mean it would be brittle since the ions slide easily and ions of the same charge repel each other and shatter the crystal lattice structure?! i am so scared for chem im gonna pee in my pants hahahh no i'm not gonna pee in my pants. because i'm wearing shorts. lol. what's the difference between shorts and pants anyway. are shorts shorter? that's why they're called shorts? what about shorts and bermudas? bermudas and pyjamas? to do this you need to compare the boiling/melting points, solubility, strength, electrical conductivity and god know what. seriously, how much does god know? i'm not doubting his knowledge..i'm wondering, if you know so much and you are still kind and nice that is amazing. because once you know too much you start to become evil cus you have power and want world domination, or maybe domination in the dry woops i mean tri state area? and you will get a constant headache if you know too much though i guess since he isn't human i dont think he gets headaches. must be nice not to get headaches though i guess i am luckier than those people who have headaches/migraines all the time and have to drink coffee/eat pills to cure it. do you know that eating a lot of pills everyday causes headaches? so that's like adding more coal to fire! that is if you're setting up a bbq. but you must know that too much of a fire isn't always good. it'll become a volcano that will eventually all spill out like little black pixels on an incoherent blog)

and i dont wish to stop but i have to be present physically for school tomorrow and leave my soul in my room under my warm and comfy blankets shielded from the harshness and coldness of red ink and pity faces and numbers that will decide whether you leave or stay. it's not that we want to stay, it's that we must stay, so that we have a good future. though i'm not sure whether having such a bad present would guarantee your good future. some people have such a bad present but still have the same bad future. i wonder why is that so. have they worked hard enough? have they worked smart enough? was it destiny? has it already been decided from the start, what your future will be?

that's a lot of questions. (like how my pw lecturer would tell us not to say 'that's a good question', no that is wrong don't do that. instead we should ask ourselves sub questions in our head and answer them out loud, yes that is the trick, i think, i dont know since i came up with it myself but never really got the chance to use it since i dont think as fast as everyone else. was i born with it? i guess i am asking myself a question now. or asked. not sure if i'm still asking since it's in your head. things in your head easily come and go or come and stay. creepy.)

and the question for me is: have i worked hard enough? could i have done better? i'm scaring myself. i just typed out a...1572 words post based 100% on emotions and 0% on logic. yay

now if i could just add what i did for pw, which would be like 900+ to this...that would be.............................2000+? yes i can't count because remember, i dont think as fast as everyone else. further reinforced when i got -17 in the reaction game in her phone when she got 15. lol. that obviously made me depressed...but she was sad cus of her results and she needed some cheering. now i'm hurting myself to make her happy. sounds familiar. sounds like what i liked doing in primary school. why am i going back there again? i laughed a lot in school but wasn't happy when i was alone. i dont want to become that person again. i dont want to fake smiles or laughter...nor do i want anyone doing it to me. nor do i like to see photos of people faking. it's sad.

i'm sad... i think.

11S206

2011-10-09T23:38:00.001+08:00

Oh man, had a good time during class bbq today! Best part was when we played murderer/werewolf (under an almost full moon) :D

Tried to bbq stuff for the first time in my life! Cus usually its the guys who do it but the guys in my class are so slack and cant make it so...lol. (they were like sitting there waiting for food to come) but some helped towards the end. :D

Best part was being able to go home by just taking the lift back upstairs and not having to book or do much for the organising of bbq cus juehong lives in the same condo as me and he booked the pit *-*

Also saw a black cat lol. Oh, the guy that left us for poly came too :) and he fit in quite well, its like he never left lol. And his econs is good too, what a waste!

And I feel like me and deon's feelings for each other has grown after all thats happened these few days/weeks. :) :) (awww)

Oh man, from tmr onwards have to go home at 4.15pm or later EVERYDAY. (except for weekends)

Almost 12am ahhh tired~
Good night!

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you want the truth, but the truth hurts.

2011-10-07T20:15:00.001+08:00

Never have I felt so naive and stupid...
I know nothing is perfect but I didnt know it would suck -this- bad.

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sucks

2011-10-03T17:03:00.001+08:00

when I check my phone every few minutes while you reply me every few hours..and its not as if you dont have free time. /angryface

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you closed your windows to keep you warm but it made you cold instead.

2011-10-01T15:08:00.005+08:00

......................................

Cause it only breaks my heart,
to see you going through this,
to see you going through this,
and there's nothing that I can do.

And it only breaks my heart,
you don't have to do this,
I've got nothing to hold on to..

Cause you keep slipping away,
a little bit more everyday now,
feels like I'm running in place;

You keep slipping away,
just when I get you alone;
it feels like I'm on my own, like
the tears running down on your face,
you keep slipping away,
you keep slipping away.

And it only makes me sad..
I think we almost made it,
girl we almost made it,
you know as well as I.

And I take you in my arms,
pull you close to me,
but every time I try..
you keep slipping away,
a little bit more every day now,
feels like I'm running in place;

You keep slipping away,
just when I get you alone,
it feels like I'm on my own, like
the tears running down on your face,
you keep slipping away,
you keep slipping away..

Should I give up?
should I let go?
my mind says yes but my heart says no,
my heart says no,
my heart says no;

Cause you keep slipping away..
a little bit more every day now,
feels like I'm running in place;
you keep slipping away,
cause you keep slipping away...

neverland

2011-09-29T16:39:00.001+08:00

Ive never felt so demotivated to study so close to exams before.

Econs exam is tmr and I havent even studied yet lololol. Doing some physics worksheet now and I fell asleep...

Maybe its cus I know i'll fail even if I study..so its all down to whether I can live with myself(will feel guilty forever) lol.

Sigh...cant wait for this, then pw, then chinese (eh which one finishes first?) to be over!

Not sure if I should choose to retain if I cant promote D: I dont want to go through orientation all over again but I also dont want to go to j2 with a shaky foundation. I need to put the foundation first before the blusher!!!11one *echo echo* I wonder why I make such bad jokes lololol.

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when im dry and thirsty low, and im crying out for more; I know I can trust in your love.

2011-09-22T23:28:00.001+08:00

Happy 5th monthsary! :D
Got so shocked I bet my face looked funny lol. Thank you *-*

Random: its ironic how organic foods are like natural foods but organic compounds are not made naturally...lolwut. One word can mean two completely opposite things. Reminds me of one trait of aquariuses which is being contradicting...

4 more days to promos, I dont know why im always in such a good mood just before or during exams lol. Has kinda been slacking for like...3days already. Omg.....3 days wasted and I only have 4 days left. I havent even touched on econs lololol, has given up on that already. During tutorials im like ?_ ? Last econs tutorial before exams tmr, yay!!!

I keep falling asleep nowadays..and its not like I havent been sleeping at 12+ or 1+ every week day this year..so I dont understand why I suddenly keep dozing off. I havent been exercising much either.. Need to do sit ups(easiest form of exercise for me) during holidays! Good night bbbbbb.

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5 more days to promos

2011-09-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

can i just laze around......:(?

"that awkward moment when you realise your keyboard is missing"

2011-09-18T23:59:00.002+08:00

my older sis took my keyboard...lol.
i finally see the usefulness of having an on-screen keyboard *-*
(just took like 5mins typing this)

mission 'not-meet-deon-for-19-days' (from last wed to end of promos, 4th oct) has started.
...i hope everything will be fine.

.

2011-09-12T23:53:00.001+08:00

sometimes, you're so mean...

Mid autumn festival

2011-09-12T21:30:00.001+08:00

Seems kinda meaningless D: I mean the whole family isnt even here..isnt that the point of mooncake festival, for families/couples to come together and stuff?
Today's my younger sis and jieying's birthday too~ oops forgot to wish jieying happy birthday.

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'Come opposite now'

2011-09-11T16:51:00.001+08:00

Thank you for the surprise breakfast! :D

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just a shot in the dark that you just might, be the one i've been waiting for my whole life.

2011-09-06T23:27:00.011+08:00

warning: if you dont like mush or corn, don't read.

lying here with you so close to me,
it’s hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe.
caught up in this moment,
caught up in your smile.

i’ve never opened up to anyone.
so hard to hold back when i’m holding you in my arms.
we don’t need to rush this,
let’s just take this slow.
...........................................

4th sept was deon's birthday.
we spent like $200+(using money we got from sp :D) on a 3d2n chalet,
and i am very sure that those 3 days are the best days of my life(so far).

it was so good that i started crying on the last night because it was coming to an end...
(in fact i'm still crying now)

living with you would be................i can't even bear to think of something that seems so impossible right now ;_ ;
now i know why there are songs saying that 'i will die if you die' or something...the thought of that is scary.

and i don't know..maybe i would change my mind, change my feelings, change everything and forget about you in the faraway future...but i wouldn't forget everything i've felt ever since we met. and i never ever ever want that to happen! i can't bear to hurt you anyway..you're too nice. (though mean at times, but i deserve it)

i could collect a cup of tears typing what i just typed, despite the shortness of this post.

you're the only one besides family that i can fully be myself with...and i don't mind showing you my messy hair when i wake up or me in pyjamas and toe socks or me in... (just realised those 2 things are related to sleep, i must be sleepy) okay you should get it.

i seriously thank your mum so much for bringing you to earth on 4th sept!
i finally see why birthdays are important now..to celebrate the life of a person.
because life is worth celebrating.

i have cried from being touched by your love for me since day 1.
deon, thank you for loving me ;_ ;;;;

oh, in case anyone is wondering: yes, we know what we're doing, i.e. i'm still a virgin, lol. *awkward silence*
...............................................

no i don't wanna say good night;
i know it's time to leave,
but you'll be in my dreams
tonight.

Glad you came

2011-09-03T09:23:00.004+08:00

So yesterday yesterday went back sec sch. I was touched when ms hoori asked about my health! And being a teacher of a graduating class every year sucks cus every year I think the teachers are more stressed (just paused to take a pic of this really pretty black and brown cat, it looks like a mini cat tiger! And it has a tail!! And its like crouching at the ledge now and im jealous of the man sitting there and he must be thinking im weird cus I just randomly took a pic of it and I keep turning around to look at the cat lol. Yes im outside now cus I reached too early for tuition cus I was pretty late on my first day so I learnt my lesson T.T)

Anyway! Just visited all the teachers and I gotta say I miss sec sch but I don't think I wanna go back there anymore. :) I'm (more than) satisfied with the present!

Oh I finally collected my sgc and got scolded/nagged at for collecting on that day lol
Wanted to cry but didn't wanna embarrass myself.

And I ate alone at the food court after that cus everyone else wanted to eat fried stuff and I couldn't..had to recover in time for Sunday!(#foreveralone, or only when you're not around) Even slept on the sofa for a few nights after that too lol.

And I was touched when Eleanor msged me if I was still at eastpoint ;_ ; what a good friend...

Bye~

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"Ne m'oubliez pas" don't forget me

2011-09-02T12:01:00.002+08:00

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww for some reason i had goosebumps and teared up throughout the video ;_ ;

"it's these simple things that mean the most to me."

2011-08-31T22:12:00.003+08:00

a random comment on this post.

i found it pretty meaningful, especially the ones i bolded :'D...so this was what i was up to for the past...hour?ok gonna sleep lol.

Kumo
January 16, 2011 at 03:57 · Reply

So umm, I have had relationships like this, and one that developed over time. It was not about honest and open communication, and cut me off from friends I’d had for years because they happened to be female. To me that showed a lack of trust. If I wanted to discuss any such thing further, it was met with anger, and not with understanding and intelligent conversation. This trained me to NOT communicate because I couldn’t expect rational, logical, response or communication based on caring and understanding of the other person.

I, however, do not have the testicular fortitude of many westerners, and I did care, initially. Such interaction and general lack of possibility for open, caring, and understanding communication also meant there was no improvement. Saw two marriage counselors and a personal psychiatrist myself, wasted thousands of dollars, and there was never any effort toward change on her part to work toward something constructive as a couple. It was always “He did this,” or “That,” or “he should have…” and “Why doesn’t he talk to me anymore?” And any time I explained, everything I said was brushed aside, met with disbelief, and no effort for improvement was made nor any sense of responsibility expressed. That’s what finally sealed the deal that there was no remaining hope, and I’m now divorced.

If I’m ever in such a relationship again in the future, if there’s no effort made toward open and caring communication and understanding, I will be gone so quick that nobody will know I’ve left. I’m done with things coming from my own guilt, sick of cultural and societal norms, values, and beliefs dictating how I act or what’s expected of me in lieu of logical thinking, caring emotional response, and open, honest, caring communication to promote mutual understanding, openness, and trust. Remember, guilt =/= trust, and many people, male or female, wield it like a sharp blade.

Ultimately, I feel the need to realize that a relationship is the interaction between two individual people, and they should ideally be together because they want to, not because they have to. I question a bit the idea of marriage itself, now that I have this understanding. If a relationship is bad, then either fix it or get out. Just don’t sit there wasting time for 30+ years hating your life. Of course things could get complicated with kids–adults are capable of thinking and acting for themselves, and generally they can take care of themselves, whereas children cannot. Thus, I feel it was indeed good for me to get out of my marriage before kids. I don’t want to think about the implications that would have had with a broken relationship/marriage, and I’m not sure I really have the time or energy to sufficiently ponder them.

I operate from the main premises that:

1) People are not art to for us to mold, or at least they should not be. Do we mold our friends? I hope not. I hope to be helpful so as to augment what my friends can do, but I do not make decisions for them.

2) Adults can be responsible for themselves and take care of themselves and can ultimately get out of a bad situation with enough reflection. Children cannot (this along with premise 1 form part of my main argument against the author’s article on parenting).

The two most crucial elements for a good relationship in my opinion, are honesty and caring. Caring allows us to listen to each other openly and work through problems, not avoiding them. Honestly also facilitates this open communication. In all honesty, forcing phone calls, visitations every weekend (if in distant areas), doesn’t show me caring on either side, but it does show me lack of trust and/or fear and possessiveness on one side.

When it really comes down to it, if I REALLY care about friends, including significant others, without ego, I want them to have the best they can possibly have in their lives. If I am good for them, then I want them to be around me. If I’m not going to be a positive factor in their lives, then I fully expect they do what’s good for them, instead. If I’m in a relationship, I want to KNOW it’s from true caring. And if I stay in a relationship, I want to know it’s because it is healthy and both parties want to be there. The HIGHEST form of caring, in my opinion, is this wish for the best for the other, whilst taking care of oneself, too (a lopsided relationship isn’t very strong, usually… or at least not optimally strong).

There are people I haven’t been with because of the paths of our lives, proximity (or lack thereof), etc., and I wonder if one day we’ll get a chance. I’d really like to give that a shot, and it may or may not come to pass. If it does come to pass, though, I want to make sure we both feel, know, and express ourselves through those concepts of caring, honesty, understanding, facilitating open communication to work past problems together, operating by means of our collective critical thinking, reflection, and problem solving skills rather than retreating to sociocultural norms.

Perhaps that was too long, but I feel EVERY element of a healthy relationship is missing from the author’s article. The only one I kind of see is a sense of “caring,” but from parts of the reading I surmise that this form of caring is possessive and connected strongly with one’s own ego, looking at “What can my partner do for me?” rather than “What can we do to lead healthy and happy lives?” (I believe we need to be caring of ourselves, too, before we can care well for others. However, you shouldn’t work to patch your own holes through the presence of another).

A person seen as a possession can never be seen for the full beauty of their character and spirit.

equilibrium

2011-08-31T21:25:00.004+08:00

..........sick :(

not sure if i should study today........
i guess i should recover first...?
but every single day is precious studying time D:
because there's just 27 more days to promos! oh god oh god oh god fjso;iajeroaiejroar

had chem test today......everytime i freak out and forget lots of stuff.
at least i remembered some stuff today..but still, i forgot other stuff.
sigh :(
wonders when i will pass my first chem test...lol.
never even got a sub-pass before.
U U U U U U U U U U like a pro

headacheeee

i guess i shouldn't even be on the comp lol.

don't even feel like replying his text msgs..
actually i do, but my body hurts too much to reply T__T
i would rather reply with my mouth instead of use technology.

going back bds tmr :):):):):)

i miss........mr.shahid. lol.
(serious)
well i really miss other teachers besides him there too.
the only lesson i REALLY didn't like was lit.
seriously..i look at it in my timetable like it's the end of the world.
so many end-of-the-world's in 1 week.
and make-up end-of-the-world's because sometimes the curriculum time for end-of-the-world's just isn't enough.
and then you have end-of-the-world homework too.
which i spend 142353t634 hours on. okay, maybe just 3 hours. lol.
3 hours to get 18/25 :(
which is why i always get 12-14/25 for lit because there's too little time.

time is always an issue.
no wonder people want to build time machines.

i always speak nonsense when i'm sick. lol

i've never felt so alive, like i feel right now in this moment.

2011-08-30T00:26:00.003+08:00

omg i left the pic of voldermort holding a packet of pads as the latest post for......20 days lol.

i'm so busy and so free and distracted all at the same time!!!! this is so bad.
i need to be busy! i need to study!
!!!!

thinking of starting a tumblr but i know that will only distract me like crazy.
tumblrs are the most addictive thing ever!!! (like a 1-picture/post short story compiled into one huge never-ending book)

and now this is what's happening:

and the traditional 'hand over your comp's power plug to your teacher' thing can't be done cus of pw. (not that i will do that..give it to my parents maybe)

i forgot to post the monthly 'happy ___ month anniversary' for last month. lol.
*too busy*........ but i didn't forget it in real life!

and in case i forget, happy birthday deon in 5 days! (it's tuesday now since it's past 12am lol)
ok need to sleep bbbbb sigh sleep, i keep waking up nowadays cus i'm so worried about promos. ;_ ;

"you make me feel like a lavendar sweater."

2011-08-10T12:17:00.004+08:00

has been waiting to post this!!!

"And she’s just that type of girl who says she doesn’t care but deep inside you are the only thing she actually cares about."

- eletheowl

(aww reminded me of snape)

what means the most

2011-08-07T14:27:00.001+08:00

prettyyyyyyyyyy

edit:

"I used to keep a journal, but ever since I’ve been with you, it’s been hard. There’s so much to say and the pages are just better being blank; I’ll remember it all anyway."

- eletheowl

"you make me feel like a complete work of art, when i'm just falling apart; a really nice piece of art."

2011-08-06T00:53:00.002+08:00

:D yesss

meow

2011-07-31T17:19:00.001+08:00

3 things that made my day:
- one of the sweetest text msgs!!
- saw sasha on the bus to my first tuition!!
- first tuition lesson(phy) went pretty well and the teacher is quite friendly too :) and he's indian! (i like other races more than chinese lol self-racist)

Sad thing is..i have too much stuff to complete oh god.

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suddenly, my heart starts to feel, yeah my heart starts to feel, my heart starts to feel like stone.

2011-07-24T14:50:00.004+08:00

stressed. i'm always the most stressed on sundays.

end of honeymoon period

2011-07-23T23:42:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was our 3rd month anniversary
Got a cat notebook, didnt get him anything.
:(

edit:
lol smushed

i ♥ HK

2011-07-17T18:27:00.028+08:00

Day 1:

woke up at 3am+ and my mum fetched me & weiling to airport!
had to turn back halfway thru cus i realised i forgot my earpiece which i left in my pocket last night when we went out to eat (crabs!!!!) and it was in the washing machine!!!

didn't dare to check if it was still working cus i dont wanna be disappointed so soon!
i can't live without music!

it was so coincidental cus i sat beside my roommate(amanda) on the plane and it's nice to sit by the aisle (did i spell it correctly lol, living in china/hk for 1 week affected my engrish)

anyway she's a pretty okay person to room with...i worried for nothing!
i think it would be worse with other people in the choir!
...actually i'm not sure since it didn't happen lol.

(bus)

(ferry)

(taking sky pier to ferry?)

i love airplane food!!!!!!!!

had scrambled eggs with hotdogs and potatoes and oj for breakfast on the plane *-*~
(lollllllllllllll the rules on the ferry, 'aliens'?)
(china guardian kkkkk)

watched a liiiiiittle bit of family guy (few mins, got bored lol) and 2.5 eps of glee..wasn't really interested in glee before but after watching it it's niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and the music!!!

(on the way to ferry)

i like this guy (kurt) and i can't believe he's gay in the show and in real life too :(
"what a waste"!

also listened to some music (taylor swift)

the plane ride was 3.5hrs and my left ear was hurting like wfhoefijs;afjsa when the plane landed in hk. T__T it still hurt a little at the airport.
had time to walk around the airport for runch and at first everyone was like shocked when they see big numbers cus it's hk currency, but now when i look at singapore prices i will think it's in hkd and think it's cheap lol.

had some wanton noodles which was really expensive >.> airports like to cheat tourists' money...

slept a little on the plane and also on the ship ride to zhuhai! (pearl sea, not pig sea!)

zhuhai looks like malaysia lol. except without malays...
so it's like chinesia. (???????)

communication was still okay since they speak chinese :D

the (5 star) hotel's really pretty :D i like itttttt.
and their slippers are so comfortable too lol. wanted to bring home but got lazy/no space in luggage.

slacked in our rooms for awhile and then we had combined practice in this practice room which had very good acoustics so it was like echo echo and it sounded so nice but it also means we will put in less effort since we sound nice easily in that room which is bad lol. -long winded-

at night we had our alto 'gossip session' (when we were supposed to have sectionals lol) and they made each of us talk about our bf/crush/eyecandy lol. >.>
didn't talk much...*uncomfortable*

sleeping at night was very simple..
i just lie on the bed and awhile later it's like i faint and then when i wake up it's 7am already >.>
it was like that for almost all the days :(
was just so tired after all the singing and walking and standing everyday.

Day 2:

practised in the morning..practised in the afternoon..practised all day T___T

was kinda excited for breakfast cus it's some buffet breakfast at the hotel!!!
took lots of food lol cus i wanted to try stuff i think would be nice but then i had lots of leftovers cus they weren't nice in the end :(

the first time we had lunch at this restaurant we were like omggggg so nice lol but then during dinner we were like "..................." cus they were the same dishes..
(i ate all those)
and they served us watermelons for every single freaking meal and we have lunch+dinner there throughout all the days we were in china T_______T so it was like a repeated breakfast daily and a repeated lunch+dinner with 1 or 2 dishes removed/added each day T_T

oh and we would always go to this supermarket after our lunch/dinner if we have time kkkkkkk.

and i bought this chocolate milk tea with nata de coco from the supermarket. there's vanilla milk tea and strawberry milk tea with pearls too, but didnt try those cus i didnt like the flavours lol. dont even like milk tea actually :X

at night after practice we had some reflection thing and hwee sze (choir chairman) talked to us and asked each of us some stuff like 'rate yourself 1-100 on the effort u've put into choir. if you didn't rate yourself 100, why?' and you like take turns to say your reasons lol.

then we each took turns to say something encouraging or something and we went to our rooms to sleep :D

Day 3:

competition day!!!

was pretty nervousssssssss cus we went overseas for this and the sch even subsidized 50% of the full cost for us and if we dont achieve anything there's no chance to go europe next yr!!
(not sure if i should/can go next year...i'll probably fail everything if i do >_> okay i'm already failing now lol)

anyway i tried to feel the songs as much as i could!
though i was scared lol. was so nervous just before our turn that i had problems breathing!!
and our other conductor is 1 of the judges too lol. (3 judges)

after our turn was over we went to change and went for lunch at the same place... and after that we went to watch the other choirs perform.
the university choirs are suuuuuuuperrrrr good.
and there's this indo choir with this badminton song which we heard like 3 times and it's so addictive!! sounds nice to sing *-*
but it's in malay lol.

and i love listening to the solos for some of the songs.. their voices are soooo good!!!!!

it was a great experience watching other good choirs perform! :D

was relieved that our turn was over! but after that mr.foong (conductor) told us we might be able to get into the grand finals so we couldn't crumple our gowns yet >.>

didn't wanna get my hopes up but can't help but feel that we were good enough for the grand finals!

and the people liked our jap song the most!

day 4:

my breakfast got lesser and lesser each day cus i learnt which foods were nice and which ones weren't lol.

had choral workshop in the morning..it was like a lecture and we learnt about pronounciation stuff and new alphabets for the pronounciation stuff lol. and mr. lee was like 'go collect your lecture notes' kkkkkk. it wasn't that boring though, pretty interesting and funny sometimes :D
but i got bored in the end partly cus i couldn't see the whiteboard cus i forgot to bring my specs down lol.

oh yeah, the competition venue and everything is at the hotel so it's suuuuper convenient! love it :D:D

after the workshop they announced the results!!!!!
our choir got the most points out of all choirs lol. (87 i think)
and we got champion for our category! :D (mixed youth choirs)
all the champions of each category get into the grand finals..
so we had 1 hour to practise for grand finals against 3 other choirs.

rushed to wear makeup and gown and have packet runch (pathetic) T__T
and practised... and was more nervous than usual!!!

the first choir was a pri sch choir lol so talented??? O_O
2nd was us.. i think we screwed up a lot :( so we knew we wouldn't get champion for grand finals and everyone was pretty sad.
3rd choir was the badminton choir lol.
last choir was the university choir(filipino) omggggg they were freaking goodddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, they got champion in the end lol.
and we were all cheering like crazy for everything.. and mr.foong got the best conductor award!!!!
and the pri sch choir had 'most promising choir' award. and we had the jury award which is 2nd :D

was sooooooooooooo happy that everything was over!!!!
went to dump my gown somewhere and showered and changed and had some time to rest..
and we were brought to some mall and we could shop there for a few hours! :D
bought lots of accessories(freaking cheap) and a bag there lol.
i think the bag was abit expensive for a china bag :( -sounds racist sorry-

then after that xu zhen (choir student conductor)'s dad's friend (lolwut??) treated the wholeeeeeeeee choir to dinner whatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
he's so rich lol????????? and i think he's a mayor of a state lol.
and there were like sooo many courses.. the dishes just kept coming!!!!
and we were all so freaking full and happy, cus we actually went to a different restaurant which looked really nice!! and the food was finally different!!! lol. *-*

and they gave us this huge pot of porridge and we played this 'i never' game and if you lose you have to eat 1 bowl of porridge..
i had to eat 5-6 bowls but i could only finish 4 i think D:

had sweet lychees and longans from them too! :D:D

was so happy that night! everyone was really high and like jfs;iodfjao;ij;o and noisy and happyyyyy :D

at night we were supposed to have alto gossip session again but me and my friends just left cus we wanted to surprise my roommate cus it's her birthday that day (didnt know!) and i wanted to sleep early too.

they just got some stuff like cereal bars that they brought and wrapped it with the ribbon we used to tie our hair for the performance and wrote little messages on the hotel notepad kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk sounds pathetic!

oh yeah every night my roommate will talk on skype with her mum (video call) and when she goes to bathe after that she lets me use her lappy and i get to talk on msn :D:D no fb/twitter in china lol.

also packed luggage cus we're leaving this place for hongkong the next day :D

day 5:

brought luggage down for breakfast, then took bus to ferry terminal, then took ferry to hongkong!!! the tides were quite heavy/unstable/dunno that day so the ship like rocked a lot and at first it was nice like the tingling feeling in ur stomach and everyone was like whoo-ing, but after awhile i felt sick lol.

on tv there was this documentary thing about ppl who lived in greenland which looks like antarctica to me lol. and it's so dangerous to live and hunt for food! ahhhh
and it's so sad to kill all those animals for food/money :( but that's life..full of competition to survive...

went to the salvation army booth lodge and oh my god it suckeddddddddddddddddddddd.
(okay..it wasn't that bad)
it was the size of my room which was bigger than other ppl's rooms (they said they didnt even have space to put their luggages lol) cus our room was the last one at the end.
and the hallway looked creepy :(
didnt like that place, didnt wanna stay there any further!
so we quickly went out and we had free&easy from like 3pm until 10pm lol.

can't believe they trust us this much!!! to let us wander around in hk on our own until nighttime!

mr.foong brought us to tsim sha tsui thru the subway and treated us to xu liu shan :D it's some popular drink in hk that's really good.. it's like jelly but it doesnt get stuck in your straw when you suck it up, super nice! and it's pretty expensive too. i think it'll be the next bubbletea in sg if anyone figures out how to make it well lol.

most of us ordered mango :D yumyumyum.

after that we could walk around on our own and we went to this random mall and ate at the food court..had ajisen ramen! a few dollars cheaper than in sg. and there was this police case that happened and i wished i knew what happened lol. i think it was a china family vs 2 hk ppl lol. maybe the guy and girl stole the china ppl's wallets or something.. the woman from the china family kept crying lol. and the police was there trying to settle the thing and writing down stuff for sooooo long. even after we were eating they were still there lol.

oh yeah, this random american guy didnt realise what was happening before he sat at the table near them and i think he regretted sitting there or smth lolol. so noisy.

went to shopppppp, i spent like 400+ hkd at h&m lol.
bought shoes and clothes and a thin jacket/cardigan thing :D

took subway by ourselves to mongkok to buy lao po bing(wife cakes) from this popular lao po bing shop lol.
had trouble looking for it!!!! so much trouble.. walked around in circles and jdslkjs;fijoawfjser and walked sooo much and amanda was so daring to ask sooo many people for directions.
and we finally finally found it!!!! -relief-

after that we were at macs and tried the nuggets with the 4 different sauces kkkkkkkkkk.
then we started heading back to the hotel while stopping by some shops.
bought cup noodles to eat at the hotel since it was like 9+ and we had to be back by 10 lol.

met up with the other 4 ppl at some supermarket near the hotel and we went back to the hotel. :D
didnt shower that night because i was scared! :X :X (and couldnt be bothered lol)
oh and we poured away the hot water in the flask cus we thought it was dirty water but realised there's no heater to heat the water up and we regretted pouring away the hot water and asked for hot water from our neighbours (choir ppl from other rooms lol).

had cup noodles, talked on msn for abit while 2 of my friends were eating and talking in the room, and googled for what's at citygate retail outlet.

then i went to sleep~

(random pic of good looking drawn guys lol)

day 6:

last day!

nice & homely breakfast at the hotel :D

had a guided tour, the tourguide had a funny accent lol, but it's good enough for a hk person i guess!

went to stanley market after that and it's a place for tourists with like roadside stalls, it looks similar to china town i think. (has never been to chinatown for a long time) it was really nice cus there're lots of different stuff of different varieties that can be bought as gifts for people and yourself :D:D:D

and some of the stuff are quite pricey....so you have to know how to bargain. and i don't dare to bargain more than once :X but amanda is reallyyyyy goood........she helped me bargain my bag from 220 to 180 and when i asked before that she was like no 220 is the cheapest she could go T_T

also went to victorian peak which is also known as 'The Peak' and it's like genting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
enjoyed the mist and haze and the cold very much :D
(notice the creepy guy in the white hoodie)

but what a spoiler, there's a mall there in the midst of all the nature lol.
and random houses in the huge forests and stuff.. so weird????????
like urban and rural mixed together.

(omg creepy guy in white hoodie again!!!)

dreamhouse *-*........

after that had 1 hour at citygate which is like a shopping mall with lots of branded outlets and stuff.... didnt buy much for some reason, i couldnt find nice clothes in hk too lol. most of them looked plain to me :( there are nicer bags and accessories at cheap prices though.

(the hole in the middle is for fengshui or something i think..reminds me of transformers lol)

went to airport, checked in, walked around, boarded plane, watched two and a half men and family guy and listened to taylor swift and taeyang's album. :D:D:D

the airplane food was gooood :D:D had oj again and fish and macaroni with potatoes.
freaking cool to be above the clouds!

so fluffy like marshmallows!

regretted not taking the biscuits and cheese when the air stewardess cleared my plate thing lol. ;_ ;

when we reached singapore.......i had mixed feelings.

happy that i'm finally back home..sad that i have to get back to reality and school and homework and studies and stuff :( i'll also miss the people i've gotten closer with there, i even thought that 1 of the choir friends was my classmate cus we were together for so long it's like we've become a class lol.

i've enjoyed myself a lot, shopped a lot and tried to unwind a lot :)
though i never really prepared myself to go back to school.....i'm still not mentally prepared yet. :(
need to listen to some music and get back to reality ;_ ;

feeling really sad now..the 6 days overseas without doing homework or studying felt really good..being with my new friends made me happy..i'll miss waking up at 7am instead of waking up at 5.30am when i have school! i'll also miss not sweating even when it's summer there...and when it rains it's sooo cooling!

(okay, these mickey pics make it look like i went to disneyland but it's just some place in a mall hahaha)

how ironic that i kept missing home when i was overseas and now i'm missing hk and china!

hate feeling like this whenever i go overseas.. and this is my first time going overseas not with my family! :D
my virgin experience kkkkkkk.

(the thing on my arm looks like some theme park pass kkkkkkkk but it's a sticker with 'veronica' written on it so that the tour guide can identify us or something if we are lost lol)

(guess which is the moon?)
yup.. i tried to enjoy myself as much as i could so i wouldn't have any regrets and that feeling of missing being overseas would be less bad...(though it still feels pretty bad).

wonders when will be the next time something like this could happen again :)

ending with a random picture that i got scolded for taking T__T:

adieu

2011-07-10T18:49:00.001+08:00

Choir competition, leaving for zhuhai (china) tmr/in 12hrs! Have to be there at 5.30am which means I have to wake up at 3.30 (my slowness) T.T..... Gonna be there for like 4days then go to hk for 2days!

Hopefully my roommate (whom I dont know at all) is nice to me D:
I'll be homesick...and when I come back I know i'll have trouble keeping up with schoolwork...gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(

Bbbbbbbbbb going for dinner with family nao.

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Its so unfair...

2011-07-10T00:51:00.001+08:00

Its times like this that I want to quickly grow up and have real freedom and be able to do what I want (which is not wrong) without getting scolded.. :( so suckkkkkkkkk

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anti-climax: raspberry cake

2011-07-03T23:34:00.007+08:00

................................................

"I asked myself why, and in that same breath, as I watch you, I get my answer. It’s everything about you; it’s that teasing smile, that warm scent. It’s the curve of your arms, the tousle of your hair, the ring of your voice. It’s just everything about you. But more than that, it’s everything about me. It’s everything about the way you make me laugh, cry, smile and hurt. It’s everything about the way you make me feel. And that’s everything that I cannot, and would not, want to let go of."

- eletheowl

dont know what to put for title hahaha lol ok sleep time

2011-06-24T02:51:00.005+08:00

cmi for hand modelling sobsobsobsobsob

희장 comes to singapore

2011-06-23T13:31:00.008+08:00

so heejang came to singapore last friday(11pm++) and left for korea last night! (12am++)
out of the 5 days he was here i only went for 2 with him!!
.......................................

heejang's day (or night) 1: picked up from airport to hostel(betelbox hahaha nice name, it's in joochiat) by deon

heejang's day 2:

he went to universal studios with deon & i :D:D:D
it was our first time there!!!!
super fun *-*
went to madagascar first to take this crate adventure ride which was pretty boring lol, you just float around in a boat/crate and watch the story lol.
but it's okay! that was just an appetizer!!

after that we went to watch Shrek 4-D adventure at Far Far Away.
the prologue was pretty boring but the effects were cool O_O looked so real!! the flames on the torches!!

after that you go into this cinema/auditorium place and the seats will rock you sometimes when something happens in the show lol. and something brushed our feet when there were spiders in the show!!! and water splashed on us when some guy sneezed in the show lol. so cool *-*
though i dont understand why we are sometimes rocked and sometimes not..

we finally rode on our first roller coaster at uss!! got on Enchanted Airways. it's not scary but i couldn't help but scream ;_ ; (i screamed on every rollercoaster-like ride..not because i was scared! but because it was thrilling!!)

we skipped all the kiddy spinning rides cus they will make you sick and spoil the day seriously >.> no wonder i always felt like puking at escape theme park; cus there's no space to build a rollercoaster so almost all of their rides are spinning ones lol.

after that we went to The Lost World!
oh they sold these drink bottles with the velociraptor's head at the top so scary......it looks so real. what if it bites your throat when you're drinking?!?! (reminds me of the tv series Primeval on channel 5 (every thursday!!); that guy opened the locker and the baby dinosaur jumped out and bit his throat!!! and he died lol. i really like that show OH MY GOD TODAY IS THURSDAY IT'S SHOWING TONIGHTTTTTTTTT shitttttt i can't resist it but i need to study butbut ;_______ ;.......)

they also sold these cool long bottles that looked like light sabres (?) lol and there are many different colours of drinks in it!!
but i don't know where they sold it lol. how did everyone get that >.>

we wanted to sit on the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure (heejang felt very hot and wanted/needed water kkkkk) but the waiting time was like 60mins lol. wonders how they judge the waiting time O_O who changes it?!?! is there some sort of sensor thing so when a person reaches a part of a queue it changes the waiting time???

sat on the canopy flyer and it was relaxing at first but then for some reason i screamed..............................lol. *only one screaming*

and we wanted to go for the waterworld show but we missed it by a few mins ;_____ ; sobsobsob. that prevented us from becoming wet though lol. (is that a good or bad thing?)

went to Ancient Egypt after that and sat on Revenge of the Mummy!!!
i think it's the best rollercoaster for me there *-* or maybe battlestar galactica:human.
we sat on the mummy one twice and at first when we were queueing (super long queue) i was pretty scared cus it seemed scary and reminded me of the Panasonic ride in escape which closed down after some ppl fell off ;_____ ;
but it was pretty thrilling and you can't see where you're going and it goes backwards too!!
and there's even a story in it and ahhhh it's so cool!!! the mummies seemed too real though..and the human who got his brain fried/sucked/destroyed lol.

there's this one part in the ride that there's fake/real fire and it suddenly gets really really hot it's kinda scary lolol so real!!! how did they do that!?!?!?!?!?!!?

and at the end of the ride the mummy got trapped because we got the book (without doing anything lolol and i was screaming like fjoawi;jf;aoifj my throat felt like fsjoi;fj after that :X) and he said something like life continues after death or something.....i remember hearing that in the mummy movie lol. mummies are creepy...

i like that the lockers are free (for first 40mins) and it's so convenient to use :D:D:D
and the toilets are quite clean (i am under the impression that amusement parks toilets are never clean for some reason)

after that we went to Sci-Fi City and sat on Battlestar Galactica: Human!!!!
it's the most satisfying rollercoaster (made my legs turn to jelly like i couldn't even walk properly after that lol) because the ride goes on longer than other roller coasters!!
and it's super fast and ahhhhhhhhhhh it's so fun.
but i was too fjsild;jfklwaefj to ride it a 2nd time.. lol. ;_ ;

didn't sit on battlestar galactica: cylon cus it goes upside down 5 times and i can't even stand the thought of going upside down once........ >.>
*rmb being forced to sit on one upside down one in genting with my father when i was pri3......pri3!!!1!!!221121111* but my older sis had to sit alone cus my mum didn't wanna take it and she was sec1 :X

after that we walked around new york and hollywood (no thrilling rides at all, only for sight-seeing) and i felt like i was overseas *-* by then it was night time already and we walked around looking for suitable places for dinner.

went to eat at Mel's Drive-In at hollywood in the end. :D (the pic above is some fake scene for some pizza shop lolol, i think it's Loui's NY Pizza Parlor)
ordered some chicken burger thing.. $10+. the chicken was pretty gooddddddddddddd *-*
i actually enjoyed this burger lol. *dont usually like burgers*
or it was partly cus i was hungry too. the fries were not bad too, they weren't dry even though they were thick :D
and the coke was like a medium size or something lol.

there were fireworks at 9pm and it was so convenient we just had to go out of mel's drive-in to enjoy the fireworks :D:D

we went home/hostel after that :D

heejang's day 3: kungfu panda 2 with deon and aaron and zoo+night safari after that. (didn't go with them T_T)

heejang's day 4: heejang...alone.

heejang's day 5(last day):

day: sentosa with deon

night: dinner @ house of seafood at bedok (crabs!!!) with aaron, me & deon
we walked like 23435467883452323546km from bedok mrt ;_____ ;
and i was feeling quite irritated because we walked so much and it was so hot (the weather was like 'want to rain but dont want to rain' weather so it was more humid than normal) and then we didn't know if it was the correct way either.

but it's okay! :):) it was good exercise for the crabs that awaited us(lol).
aaron came to fetch us from there and we ordered a seafood fried rice ($4 only???), 1 black pepper crab and 1 chilli crab ($56 each)

it was super niceeeeeee but for some reason i liked the black pepper crab more (usually i would prefer the chilli crab)
i love crab. *-*
deon is very good at cracking/tearing crab.
he teared it apart for me and aaron kkkkk.

and the 3 of them used chopsticks in 1 hand and used their other hand to eat the crab and i was using both hands lololol.
but in the end aaron used both his hands cus he had trouble eating it that way i guess.

paid the bill and went to cab to heejang's hostel and then to changi airport.
we walked around a liiiiittle and talked about random stuff (like ksp)
heejang wanted to buy ice lemon tea (he likes it a lot) so he went into cheers and said he couldn't find it so he went to buy a bottle of plain water instead..but the ice lemon tea was actually at the very front of cheers lol you could see it from outside >.>
and he was like arghhlksfjijfsa

aaron talked about choir on the cab and i felt bad cus i sucked at choir ;_______ ;
but i knew everything that he was saying so it was okay i guess.

we passed heejang the 'OMG you're leaving!?!? WaaAaaaAAAAaaaaAaaAaaa' card that *I* bought lolol and we took turns to write on it while the other person distracted heejang though i think he knew lol............. and we passed it to him :D:D:D

and i wrote 다시만나요 which i asked wiz to help me look up what 'hope to see you again' means in korean lol. was it accurate???
when it was time(;___ ;), he hugged each of us and we watched heejang enter the inside place (dunno what it's called :X:X) and i was sniffing because my nose was itchy and i think my eyes were watery maybe because i felt sad that he was leaving im not sure :X and deon asked me if i was crying lol.
*didn't realize i was tearing up*
initially before all this, when heejang told us he wanted to come to singapore, i was kind of hesitant.. i was afraid we would have communication problems since he's korean and singaporeans have weird accents lolol. but in the end there were only few problems with communication and his english is actually pretty good for a korean :D :D

and i'm glad that he came..if not i wouldn't be able to go to uss and eat crabs kkkkkkk.
he's a really friendly and nice guy *-* i think his character allows him to tour the world easily lol.
while i.......hmm >.>
.....................................
you know in the past when people said their dream was to tour the world i was like whatttttttttttt, what a stupid dream?????
i couldn't understand the joy of it.. but now it seems so nice ;__ ;
and i don't think i want to tour every part of the world, but i want to go to many different countries and gain something from every country :D:D

maybe... i hope i could go to korea 2 years later(after a level exams), and hopefully heejang hasn't forgotten his english (because i have this korean friend in ksp who was supersuper good in english but like 3 yrs later he forgot how to use it lol T__________T.....)

but the future is uncertain.....so.....shouldn't think so far yet! *i should still save $ just in case*

heejang nim, it was really fun meeting you :D:D i hope you had a great time in singapore even though the weather was freaking hot!!

oh and heejang's parents/mum gave my mum this ginseng extract thing ahhhh thank you so much!!!! my mum feels bad that she didn't give them anything in return.

and before that she was sort of disapproving of me meeting heejang cus like i met him online and stuff lol. and she said i was mixing around with the wrong(bad) people and i was quite angry with her for judging people like that..

but now she is like >.> so nice and stuff lolol and she didn't even scold me/ask me why i came home so late last night.

ginseng cures everything. :)
.........................................

happy 2nd month, time passes so fast *-*

eager

2011-06-18T00:33:00.003+08:00

excited for tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (well it's today actually since it's 12:39am now lol)
i usually dont like to bring my hopes high but i can't help it...

heejang's here at sg now!!!!!
deon went to fetch him from changi airport and they're probably on the cab to his hostel now!
talked to heejang a littleeee on the phone just now omgomgomgogmomgomgomgogmogmmg.
and we're going to universal studios tmr!!!!!
(and i am seriously seriously broke.. if only i could get the 30 bucks the treasurer/chrystal rep owes me now when i used my own money to pay for the chem notes >_> only gonna get it after hols.. i hope i remember, cus it's $30!!!!)

no money equals suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

but oh well still gonna try to enjoy ourselves! :DDDDD
teeheeee

need to sleep now lol dont wanna be super sleepy and sloppy tmr T__T

seven days of lonely (hehehe)

2011-06-17T17:13:00.004+08:00

.............................................
met eleanor yst to study! (which wasn't effective at all partly cus i didn't wanna study lol)
had lunch at 18 chefs and we talked a lot and she still looks the same!
and it's been awhile since i've talked so much about the things i wanted to talk to someone about(lol) and it felt great talking to eleanor :'DDDDD

went to starbucks and we talked more about random stuff lolol.
i miss going shopping with eleanor T___T
far east........she's the one who introduced it to me! and i've never been there with anyone else before (except for family once) ;_______;

i also passed her the naruto drawing i did a long time ago :XXXXX
i was quite embarrassed cus it didn't look nice lol ;_ ;
wish i've some talent. >.>

i really felt better talking to an old (as in not that she is old, but that i've known her for awhile lol) friend :') was feeling very stressed the past few days.

sighhhhhhh i guess i've really missed you eleanor hehehe.

"hoping this feeling will last forever and ever"

2011-06-05T18:05:00.001+08:00

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and i'm seeing double vision

2011-05-30T22:03:00.004+08:00

(first i have to say that... double vision - 3oh!3 is the best song i've ever heard today!!!!!!!!!!!!! or the best new song i've ever heard for awhile... it's making me excited to listen to it on the way to school tmr(during the holidays), i can't wait!!!:D:D:D shitttttttt it's so good jfsdl;kfjaflskafjl;kaj)

watched kungfu panda 2 today! with the whole j1s!!!!
supppppperrrrrrrrrrrrr hilarious i laughed like mad.....hwee jun said i laughed really loudly that she laughed too and there was this part where i was the only one laughing but that happens all the time so...............................>.> lol. :(

had gp exam before that!
forgot to bring my gp notebook/thought it'll be too heavy T___T
so i only had the notes to study.......and i realised i didn't use any of the stats i memorised (or tried to memorise) ;_ ;......
stupid memory.
(i even forgot about the existence of those stats until now lol)

oh btw i was suuuuper hungry(that i was going to shiver and my friends thought i'll faint or something) i bought this big bag of lays.....and couldn't finish it in the end so passed around the class and the class also passed around other chips and stuff lol.
i also bought kinderbueno and half of it dropped!!! lol. ;_ ; *sad*
and ate it in less than 1 min kkkkkk. (fine maybe 5...or 4...or 3...)

before that we went to food fair!!!
(was supposed to go to some museum for ne(national education)-ness hahahahaha lol
fake shark fin's soup tastes sooooooooooooooooooo good....ate lots of sample stuff and bought some random food to eat which wasn't enough which was why i was hungry and started shivering by the time we reached suntec for the movie ;_ ; also ate ding dang tang!!!/kok kok tang lol. it's this hard hard sweet covered with abit of flour that i used to eat when i was a kid... ahhh good times! i think you can find it at pasar malams....ok super long bracket)

i chose some 'whether imprisonment for young convicts is the best way' question for p1 lol. (random, but better than some transport question that came out in the a levels super random)
i couldn't finish p2................:( only managed to write 1 paragraph of aq lololol.
wonders if i'll get like 1 pity mark or something >.>

oh oh btw, the pic above is what my classmate just posted lol.
i found it funny :D:D
i love kungfu panda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! super super funny and emotional and jfdslk;jf;a it made me tear up a couple of times! :')

oh yeah, watched pirates of the caribbean on sat! :):):)

fjl;sdkjlsa;fjlasj;afjlsda;jdfjfwoeijmvno haven't annotated my eom articles >.>
have to hand in by wed and i'll reach home at like 8+ or 9 tmr so i have to do it by today! ;_ ;
bbbbbbb

edit:

okay super sleepy seriously can't take it anymore...gonna do eom articles tmr..or something :( :(

and this song reminds me of spice and wolf! (wolf and spice? spices and wolves? spices and wolf?????) the time period.

I hope they like me

2011-05-29T20:54:00.001+08:00

Today was pretty overwhelming, and even though some things I never expected to happen happened, i'm still happy :D

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